Brave New World
by justawriter2006
Summary: Clarke and Bellamy are the leaders of the 100, yet their society is new and vulnerable. What their relationship means to them, and to the survival of their society, and how a baby could possibly affect this. Rated T. Reviews are appreciated :)
1. Chapter 1

Clarke

"Bellamy" I breathe softly into his hair; warmth radiating off our bodies as I drink in the sharp blues of the sky above us. I take one last breathe of him, drinking in the rich pine smell I distinguish him my. I linger, telling myself to pull away yet longing so much to hold on for just a little while longer. I know that when we break apart, so will this delicate bubble of escape; escape from constant fear and ever present responsibility, threatening to crush my lungs with its weight. We live in unwavering fear. Festering from every angle; fear of the grounders; fear of each other; fear from the earth itself and most of all fear of the unknown. We do not know if we will live or die within the next hour much less the next year. We do not know if the ark will come for us or what that means for this tenuous young society that we have built. And at the top of it all is Bellamy and I, de-facto leaders in this world of chaos we have created. There is little to define in our world, we cannot define our leadership, our political relationship with the grounders nor the nature of our conflict. We have no definition for our societal structure or our place in this brave new world. All we know is this, I love Bellamy Blake. I thrive on his strength and he lives off my steadiness. We compliment each other, balancing out the good and the bad, leaving a blanket of pure colliding energy that somehow against the odds, makes our community strong. This is what makes our society strong. And this is how we keep each other from falling into darkness.

Bellamy pulls me closer, and I protest weakly "no we can't. I can't, It's not a good time.."

He cocks his head to the side and smiles, pleading," Come on Princess, I love you. I just have this feeling this is meant to be. Nothing feels more right than being here with you in my arms."

He kisses me deeply, running his hands down my arms. I can feel myself loosing control and I feel the electricity between us numbing me. I cannot fight this anymore. I wrap my arms around his neck, feeling his muscles contracting under his skin as our bodies move with each other.

Bellamy

I run back to camp. My body moving almost on instict as I avoid tree roots and stones with ease. This environment feels so right, we are in sync with nature even after generations of being out of its reach. returning has given me a new sense of belonging I never had on the Ark. I breathe in deeply as I enter the gates of the 100's tented community and I smile for what seems like such a long time. Despite my inner demons and personal faults I know this is where I'm supposed to be. My smiles as I see Clarke, her torso bent over, her shoulders tense as her whole body contracts. I am instantly at her side pulling up her hair and letting her lean on me as she looses her balance. I let her throw up, not minding if she gets any on me as I concentrate on making sure she is not hurt in any way. Topically she seems fine, her head is not warm and her hands aren't shaking. She isn't loosing blood and she doesn't seem injured. We haven't been eating anything that we aren't positive is safe and we haven't had meat for months since the fall. As she gains control she whispers weakly, " Bellamy I think I should go see Raven" I simly nod as I look in concern at her glazed eyes and sallow cheeks. She struggles to walk and almost trips but I swoop down and carry her swiftly to Ravens tent.

'Raven!', I demand. 'Whats wrong with her?'

She shrugs off the anger rising in my voice, keenly hearing the worry lacing my sharp words. "I promise I'll figure it out Bellamy give me a minute to asses what you've given me here."

I nod sullenly, focusing on Clarke's sprawling form as Raven takes her pulse and checks her breathing.

"Well her breathing sounds good and her heart rate is steady but, wait. Bellamy?" her voice rises slightly in pitch and I can hear the concern in her voice, striking fear in my own.

"What Raven whats wrong?"

"Pass me the first aid kit." I do without hesitation as she gently pricks her finger. dripping a small amount of blood into a yellow tube. You'll have to give the test a second, now Clarke," she says steadlily moving her attention to Clarke," You probably know how this stuff works better than I do how long am I supposed to wait?"

I see clarkes eyes fill with dread as she meets Ravens solemn gaze, "Ive seen my mom do them I think it only takes a second.

Fear overtakes me briefly as I demand, "What is that whats wrong with her."

Neither meets my gaze as raven unhelpfully says ," we'll know in a minute" her eyes glued to the menacing meter.

We wait. i dont know what for but we are searching, waiting for something to happen Clarke whispers into the silence, it should turn blue if its positive. Just as she says this the little vial begins to fade into a dull blue and it grows brighter until it is a visible vibrant sky color. My heart pounding I yell impatiently, "What what does blue mean? Why aren't either of you communicating with me? Whats wrong with her"

A long moment of silence follows as Clarke, now an ashen grey replies in a terrified murmur, "Im..im pregnant."

Bellamy

This has caught me off gaurd. This diagnosis is not what I expected, I was ready to be crushed, to do everything to keep Clarke safe. I never would have guessed this would be tied to me. I was involved, I am part of the risk factor. Anything that happens to her or the baby is my responsibility.

Oh god the baby. My baby will be born into this world we still do not fully understand. I am twenty years old. Clarke is seventeen. Neither of us have anywhere to look for guidance yet we are responsible for the lives of everyone here. The course of our lives are dictated soley by the availability of meager supplies and the grounders tenuous threat to our survival. Everything about our lives rest on a single thread. This is the world a child will be born into. A helpless baby, born into the chaos of this world that could easily burn up in flames. Yet, a baby could also be its the hope, the light of salvation. New life represents the sucess of our people, we are not temporary. We can make this our brave new world. We can erase the mistakes of our ancestors, heal the scars of a destructive nuclear war. A baby is that hope, that we can survive. a baby, Clarkes and Mine, can be the ties that bind the 100- We are not a group of hapless teenagers, bringing chaos and destruction to this pristine world we cannot comprehend. We are the future. We can make or break this world.

I sink to the floor of the tent, I sniff and smile tentatively at Clarke. In her face is mirrored the same apprehensive hope, maybe we can make this work. This same tentative joy, the will to maybe possibly hope for happiness that seems to be buzzing through me is reflected in her glimmering eyes. I pull her into my arms and whisper, "So princess, think we can make this a good thing?"

She snuggles into my shirt, her nose pressed against my neck and breathes, "I think we can make this work"


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke

Bellamy and I emerge from Raven's tent to dazzling sunlight. Suddenly the world seems brighter, the leaves on the trees lusher and the sunlight filtering through the trees brighter. Bellamy's hands are on my shoulders and he seems jumpy, almost shielding me from the people that pass, his eyes glancing quickly around the camp. I gently take one of his hands in mine and face him,"heey it's ok I'm fine, nobody here is going to jump me. I'm ok you're ok," I lean into his chest and cock my head up towards his chin, "the baby is ok, we can do this"

He tips his face down and takes mine in his hands, "I need to make sure that you are safe." he croons, "if anything happens to you, It'd be on me."

"Bellamy I am going to be fine, I can take care of myself alright, you shouldn't have to worry" I dispel his fears and kiss him on the cheek lightly. Suddenly Finn, Jasper and Octavia approach us. Bellamy tenses as he sees them coming, then recognizing them, relaxes slightly and swings his left arm around my shoulder. Octavia laughs as she sees her brother, "Looks like your boyfriend's about to have a panic attack Clarke, what did you do to him?"

I shrug off his arm and walk over to them, Bellamy quick on my heels and reply, "He's just a little on edge as always" I shoot Bellamy a warning look on the word always, silently telling him to keep his mouth shut for now. He stubbornly puts his arm back on my shoulder and smirks back at me.

Finn eyeing Bellamy curiously asks, " Anyways you guys ready?"

My heart skips a beat as I remember, we had planned to take part in the border patrol today. "Oh ya of course we're ready"

Bellamy tenses up again and pulls me closer, "Um Clarke I don't think you should go on this one."

I pull away slightly and narrow my eyebrows, "Actually Bellamy I think I'm gonna go, like we planned"

He clenches his jaw, panic flashing in his eyes, after a long pained moment of everyone's eyes on him, waiting for an explanation he knows he can't give he relents, "Ok Princess, just…be careful" He pleads in a lower voice with me.

I give him a long look, taking in his pained expression and give him a reassuring smile, "of course"

Bellamy

I follow them with large strides, my gun cocked innocently to the trees, my finger on the trigger. My eyes are glued to Clarkes back, her blonde hair flying in waves off her shoulders as she walks swiftly as she walks precariously along the unnoffical border between our land and the grounders. My heart races everytime she narrowly misses tripping over a rock or exposed tree root. I eye the ravine below warily, heavily suspecting that there are grounders hidden in the trees, waiting for one of us to fall. I nearly leap in the air as Octavia jumps up from behind me, matching my long swift strides and asks, "Bellamy, what is up with you today, even for you you're acting a little jumpy." Her remark is innocent but her tone is heavily questioning, her feigned lightness laced with concern.

I shrug her off muttering passively, "Nothing I just don't want another grounder situation." I immediately feel the reprocussions of my topic choice. She shrinks back at the word situation, she looks as stung as if I had slapped her. I have basically thrown the whole Lincoln issue in her face and it hurts.

Immediately I reach out for her arm, "Octavia, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that."

She pulls away from me quickly, shooting back venemously, "No Bellamy, you know what I don't care anymore, "whatever the hell you want" for all I care!" She sprints ahead and I sigh, I feel like I am pushing her away, my baby sister, who I promised I would protect, yet everyday she seems further and further away. Just as I consider chasing after her a blur of movement descends ahead.

I look swiftly to the left and with a jolt I notice we have veered sharply into grounder territory without noticing. Panicked I rush ahead but am barred by a looming grounder, brandishing a paint streaked spear. I try to push past him, and the wind is knocked out of me as he throws me to the ground. I try to look past him and see Clarke and Octavia on the ground with their arms held behind their backs, their faces pushed roughly to the ground. My heart skips a beat as I am filled with pure rage and I try unsuccessfully to break past the guards once more.

To my left Finn has been thrown against a tree and is cradling his left arm and to my right Jasper is struggling to free his hands from a grounder who has him in a tight armlock. Up ahead the leader of the grounders narrows her opal streaked eyes venemously at Clarke and Octavia, roughly pulling Clarke by her neck from the ground and seethingly whispers something at her. Suddenly I remember the grudge she holds against Clarke and I am washed in fear. With a burst of energy I dodge the two burlesque guards and rush straight into the action. I am once again stopped by two marksmen, their arrows aimed tactfully at my throat. Slowly I get on my knees and put my hands behind my head. The leader only smiles, recognizing me, "If it isn't your hero? don't worry sweetheart after I throw you down into that ravine I'll make sure he follows you."

Clarke splutters, as her long nails wrap around her throat and I am filled with white hot rage, longing to plunge my knife into her heart. Suddenly she yanks Clarke by the hair towards the ravine and I impulsively stand, causing the marksmen to raise their weapons. I lean forward and yell, "No stop you can't do that, I promise if you let her go we'll go right back to our camp." I plead

She turns to face me, her eyes narrowed, "You don't seem to understand, this is a war. She has wronged me and now shes going to pay."

I step forward again as the arrows aimed at me follow my movements, "Please you can't.." I glance swiftly at Clarke and continue desperately, "She's pregnant ok, even if you have something against her please don't take it out on her baby."

In the silence that follows I can see the tall woman hesitate, balancing her revenge with her morality and finally she sighs, roughly throwing Clarke at me. I catch her as she gasps, regaining her breathe and I wrap her in my arms. The leader motions to her soldiers, and they lower their weapons and fall back behind her as she seethes, "Take her home, all of you leave and If I catch you on this side of the forest again I will not hesitate to have one of my men kill you."

I nod and pull Octavia from the ground, gently checking her face for blood. She looks at me with understanding and I see that, at least for now I am forgiven. I look back at Finn and Jasper as the grounders retreat and find Jasper looking at me with surprise and Finn with a cold steely eyed emotion I cannot identify. I shake it off turning my attention back to Clarke and survey her from the ground up, checking her for any injuries. Finding none I pull her head closer to mine and whisper, "Are you ok?"

She looks back at me with an expression of pure shock and mutters, "I think I'll be alright."

I nod and pick her up from the ground and for once she does not resist, instead she buries her face into my shoulder and begins to sob.


	3. Chapter 3

Clarke

I never cry. When I thought my mom died, I didn't cry. When Finn broke my heart, I didn't cry. Everytime I've thought I was going to die, I haven't cried. Yet suddenly I am a wreck. I can't explain it, shock and fear have somehow manifested in intense uncontrollable sobbing. Visibly shocked Bellamy gently guides me to the ground and allows me to cry into his shirt as he strokes my hair.

Apparantly my crying has the same surprising effect on Finn as he angrily strides over to us and addresses Bellamy, "Why did you let her come out here? Don't you know this is dangerous? If you knew about this how could you put her at risk like that?" I raise my head as Bellamy stands, he flashes an angry demenour at Finn but I see something else in his posture, at first I cannot identify it but then I catch it, guilt.

Bellamy seemingly brushes aside his inner turmoil and stands over Finn growling, 'You think I didn't know what I was doing?" His voice is pure venom as it grows to a yell, "It was supposed to be a simple border patrol! If I had known this would happen do you think I would have even considered letting her come? Hell I would have stayed back with her. Don't you, of all people, question if what I do is right or wrong."

Through his angry accusations I see not only the guilt he has for this, but his raw, stinging layers of deep seeded guilt he has over his decisions as a leader here and how it has affected the people around him. I see the weight of every action he has made since shooting the chancellor, up until his refusal to communicate with the ark indirectly leading to the unnecessary death of three hundred martyrs and the continued turmoil on the ark and on the ground. This massive guilt is weighed on his shoulders and I can see cracks forming where the pain has been to much. I have witnessed first hand how deeply this guilt has plagued him and Finn's accusations pushed him over the edge.

Struggling to stand I walk over to Bellamy and wrap my arms around his back, easing his pain. I feel his arms locked tightly, the veins in his neck tensed with anger, and his back muscles compacted as if they are undergoing a massive amount of strain. I slowly wrap my hands through his fingers, unclenching his fists as he releases some of his anger and relents some pain at my touch.

I peek through Bellamy's arms and look at Finn, he is no longer bent forward with anger, but rather he is slumped in defeat. his arms are slacked as he gingerly grips his left arm with his right with a pained expression on his face, although I suspect it is not from his injury.

I gently stroke Bellamy's arm one last time and step forward between him and Finn until I am directly facing Finn. I smile weakly at him and offer to check his arm. He gives me a long painful look and relents sitting gruffly on a rock and laying his arm on his knees. I sniff and wipe the last of the tears from my face, all evidence that they happened gone in my emotions, however the angry red blotches I am sure will appear on my cheeks will serve as a reminder. I carefully rotate his forearm at the elbow, loosely checking his reflexes to rule out a break and conclude he just tore a muscle. I instruct him to be careful with it and try to ice it if he can and hesitate before getting up again. I don't want to leave him like this, he seems hurt and somewhat betrayed by what I assume is my situation with Bellamy. I know he had seemed passive when we first got together but somehow this pregnancy solidifies it, makes it real and concrete.

Essentially he is shut out of my life, who he was and what we where has been locked away forever. I know the feeling, I had experienced a similar thing when I discovered he had Raven and it stung for weeks, I felt suffocated, unable to breathe. It was like a part of my life had simply been torn away, even after they broke up and we had tried to rekindle some of what we had, it was undeniably over.

You can't repair damage like that, you can sew up the wounds and learn to live if you loose an arm, but you will never be whole, and a prosthetic is unquestionably not the same as an arm. That was what that second try had been, a prosthetic, a lifeless substitute for the lifeblood that had been that limb. For me Bellamy is what saved me, he was my crutch, my leg. We support each other and draw strength from each other both emotionally and as leaders. For Finn, my new relationship had the opposite effect, it was like someone came and tore off the other arm, and this pregnancy is like a slap in the face for him.

I gently pull my hand from his arm and whisper gently, "Are you ok with this?" and give him a look I hope he knows means I understand how he feels. He gives me the ghost of a smile, and a flicker of understanding flashes on his face as he replies in a strong voice, "I'm fine."

I stand and turn my attention back to Bellamy and I see in the creases of his lips he is still in a lot of emotional pain. I gently wrap my arms around his and simply start us walking back to camp, there is nothing left to say for now, not in the wake of what just happened between the grounders and between what happened with us. The others understand this and we troop back silently, Bellamy and I at the head, Finn three steps behind and Jasper and Octavia trailing at the rear. As the Sun sets, casting a serene golden glow on our backs, we reach the camp. Not a word has been spoken up until now and I am surprised when Octavia leaps in front of us, just before we enter the camp.

Bellamy

I feel almost hollow, worn out from not just the physical ordeal of the day but also from the emotional strain it has placed on my shoulders. It is my fault Clarke was put at risk, and it is my fault that we came close to endangering our baby. Just when I was beginning to put all of my demons to rest, to become a better person for my child, I yet again am responsible for other people getting hurt. It is like I am a hurricane, standing at the eye of the storm watching my actions wreck havoc on the people around me. I can barely keep Octavia safe, how can I possibly protect Clarke's well being when I have struggled with the wrong decisions for years. I simply do not know how I can continue from here, I can't see the path ahead of me, every turn and bend in the road is in shadows and my decisions are blindly directing me in the wrong direction.

I am contemplating this when Octavia appears in front of me, her face stubbornly molded into a determined expression, her eyes narrowed and her lower lip pursed. I can see her scanning me, reading me like a book. She yanks me from Clarke's arm and yells, "Congratulations Clarke, but I have to fix him first!" as she drags me away.

Startled, I flash back at Clarke, who gives me a bemused look and waves weakly, trudging back into camp with Finn and Jasper wallowing at her heels.

Once she has dragged me far enough away from the prying eyes of others, Octavia whirls around on her heels, facing me squarely, "Ok Bel' you and I both know that you will always try to look out for me and do whats right for me, and I'm sure that'll be the case with Clarke and your baby, but listen to me carefully when I say this, you are also responsible for yourself." She continues before I can interject, giving me a long, knowing look, as if her blue eyes are pleading with me to understand something, " You have done the best job you can, and even though there are things that you may regret, know that you have done them in the best interests of the people you care about and that is not a weakness Bellamy. Your protectiveness is a strength, and I know that that baby will be in the best hands with you as a father because I know you will risk everything to make sure that everything will be ok." She takes me in her arms and embraces me tightly, "If you can't take my word for it, just look at me, I'm still in one piece and guess what?" She whispers into the silent evening air, "I'm still learning from you every day"

Her words fill me with a golden strength and I gratefully hug her back, lifting her up from the ground for a moment and kissing the top of her head. All I can manage to say is , "Thank you. You don't know how much I needed this."

She simply smiles as we break apart and tips her head to the side, "I've been your sister for long enough to think I do."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews and dedication to this story! I will continue to update as frequently as possible. Thanks again for your continued support and reactions and ideas are always welcomed and encouraged, I would love to hear for what you have to say about the future of this story and I could really use any new ideas you have. Thanks again! :)**

Bellamy

After Octavia has successfully lectured me into a more suitable mood, I rush back to camp with the wind on my back. I had urged her to come back with me but she hesitated, holding back, her eyes drifting to the distance. I know somewhere in my heart she is probably off with Lincoln and however toxic I believe that relationship is, I allow her to sneak off. I am her brother; I cannot control her forever.

I breathe in a lungful of fresh air, I feel renewed, like for the first time in my life I can breathe and see with intense clarity. Since the day Octavia was born and I promised to protect her, I have been accountable for my actions under scrutiny. I was completely responsible for her life as well as my own, it was on me when she got caught and my mothers blood was put on my hands when she was floated for it. I shot the chancellor to ensure her safety, my actions on the ground in response to that dictated by my fears of being caught, leading to the deaths of 300 innocents. More blood on my hands. When Finn was stabbed, it was on me again. More blood.

Ever since, I have been drowning in the deaths of those I am and have been responsible for. Suffocating, unable to escape my demons. My life is dictated by guilt and overcoming my qualms. Part of that is why I have resented Finn, he is the hero, he is the model of perfection, whereas I am the monster, the sinner, the one who must be redeemed. Yet Octavia has reminded me, I have a legacy, she is the living proof that maybe I have hope, the same goes for my baby. Where Octavia is my hope that child may prove to be my redemption. Everything that baby represents, the future of the 100, life on Earth, could also become what I was meant for. I can rise above every one of my faults.

The second I enter the camp I rush to find Clarke, I search for a frantic three minutes before I find her, curled up behind one of the larger tents trying desperately to control tears that are wracking her body. Immediately I have scooped her up into my arms and am on the ground with her, cradling her whispering gently in her ear. Once she has gotten sufficient control of herself I take her face in my hands and dip her chin up, wordlessly I kiss away the tears from her cheeks and breathe, "What happened?"

She looks back up at me her eyes glittering and whimpers, "I don't know how I can do this, I can barely be responsible for the lives of everyone here, much less a baby. I have made mistakes, I let a man get tortured to save Finn. I can't handle the grounders, and I am doubting how strong I am. I am failing Bellamy."

I allow her to cry softly into my shirt again, and I realize she is as broken as me. Yet we can make a whole out of these jagged edges. "Clarke, look at me. You are an excellent leader, you put the needs of others before your own, you sacrifice so much to ensure the survival of these people. You astound me everyday with your strength and determination. Without you, I would have crumpled as a leader, but you bring out the strength in me. Those are the qualities that determine a good mother, you will not fail our baby. You will not fail me."

She smiles brightly at me and takes a deep breath, regaining her control, she sits upright, "Bel, you bring out in me what I can't find in myself. I need you and I love you."

I run my fingers through her soft hair and whisper, "I need you and I love you." We kiss for a long moment before she breaks from me, softly then all at once.

She runs her hands down my neck and leans her forehead against mine breathing, "You are all I have left," she whimpers, "My father is dead. My mother…my mother is dead," She acknowledges bravely, squeezing her eyes shut as she allows that fact to sink in and repeats, "You are all I have left."

I cradle her closer to my body, rhythmically swaying in sync with her gentle movements, I remember when I broke down in her arms after hallucinating about all the deaths I had caused, and she had told me that, I was needed, that I made a difference, that I mattered. This is an idea that is worth more in her than in me because she really does, she matters. Not only to me but to everyone here, we live off her strength, and so does our child. "Clarke, I remember you telling me that I was needed, now I am going to tell you the same thing. I need you. Our baby needs you. Everyone here needs you. You matter and you can face this."

She looks into my eyes for what seems like a very long time and replies slowly, echoing me once again, "Can we deal with it later? Can we take a moment right here, right now, and escape it, just for a moment?" She pleads softly. Her strong demeanor these past months has taken a lot out of her, beating her down as she continued to try to be everyone's support, taking on the weight of the world on her own, and I am beginning to see cracks boring into her soul from all the energy it is taking from her. I try to ease her pain, to take some of the tension from her and transfer it onto my shoulders, I want nothing more than to share in her burden, to take on the world alongside her, protecting her. All I can do is wrap her closer and reply, "Ok."

**In this chapter I was trying to show how Bellamy and Clarke are very similar, they both respect each other so much as leaders and believe in each other, and I wanted to exemplify that with this contrast. I noticed I have been doing a lot from Bellamy's perspective but that is only because his character is so richly complicated and dimensional I really wanted to explore him. I will try to do more from Clarke's perspective and try to build up upon what has been focused on in the show for both their characters. Just some types of feedback I'm looking for is what do you think boy or girl? (I was thinking Julia for a girl since Bellamy had that whole thing with naming Octavia after Augustus and I think he is trying to model himself after him [I just quickly googled Augustus and the connections are pretty interesting]) but any ideas are appreciated thanks so much again!**


	5. Chapter 5

Bellamy

After what feels like a decade of time, allowing ourselves escape and respite from our responsibilities to our people and to ourselves, I mutter in Clarke's ear, "You are not alone you know. I am not the only thing in this world you have to live for. I wouldn't flatter myself with that honor. Clarke you have our baby. This child can be your will. Your will to live, to carry on, to fight for the life you and I and everyone here deserves. You can make this our home. You can save us."

She creeps her fingers along my shoulder, her eyes filling with a new kind of hope, flushing out the despair I have so painstakingly watched grow in her expression and see a new determined glow light up her face, softening her tense features. She takes a moment to collect herself, breathing softly into my shoulder. As she absorbs and comes to term with an inner peace that she must reach on her own, I rock her softly in my strong arms, murmering an ancient lullably from the ark in her ear, "Come josephine in my flying machine, going up she goes, up she goes, fly high through the air as free as a bird going up she goes, up she goes." I allow my voice to trickle into a whisper until I am humming softly, her hair brushing my cheek as she leans her head into my arm. I slow to a gentle sway and I take a second to truly appreciate her and her role in my life. She has been my strength, leading to my salvation, pulling me into light when I was overwhelmed by darkness. I lay one hand on the small bump under her shirt. As Clarke drifts off I lean in close and whisper" I will always protect you and your mother as best I can baby. You will always be safe with us. In our arms, we will cherish you."

Clarke

A month has passed and Raven has estimated that I am around five months pregnant. I didn't say this but I know for certain I am five months and twenty-five days pregnant. I can recall the day vividly, the trees where a lush dewy green in the early springtime light and the grass underneath my back had been soft and slightly ticklish. I cannot fathom a better day of my existance, not our arrival on Earth, not the first time me and Bellamy kissed. This day was th culmination of that, a celebration of our love, youth and prosperity. An escape from our daunting responsiblities where we could simply enjoy each others presence and be one with one another. The world seemed to be at our fingertips, little did I know that that would be the unraveling of my unwavering control. Yet that loss does not spell doom, it opens the door for me to axknowledge my weaknesses, to appreciate the vulnerablitity of my humanity and truly experience what it means to be alive. For the first time I feel awake.

I am beginning to show now and it is becoming harder and harder to hide it with the weather getting colder and the food supply dwindling, we are growing leaner, yet I am glowing. People are beginning to eye me and Bellamy skeptically, how can we, their leaders be so young and irresponsible? We are supposed to be all knowing and untouchable, guiding the community with our unfailing perfection. Yet we are human and we are blatantly imperfect. I do not mind the wary looks, Bellamy has only grown more overprotective, constantly at my side, shielding me, doing things for me, making sure I eat, sleep and drink properly, stay clear of our weaponry and the border. With winter approaching I can feel his worry radiating off him in waves, constantly fearful of what this harsh environment will bring. I do not mind his clinginess, I understand it. It makes him feel more at ease with himself. It helps him cope with his own personal issues which in turn guides me along a brighter path for myself. One day as we are laying in our tent, I brush a lock of Bellamy's overlong hair from his face and whisper, " I think we have to make some kind of announcement."

He sits up, knitting his eyebrows together and asks, "They already suspect, at least we suspect that they suspect. Can't we just let it be? It doesn't really matter to them does it?"

I push him playfully on the shoulder, "Don't be an idiot, of course it concerns them. We are their leaders, they look to us for survival and more than that, we are moral guides for them. They don't know how to interact with the grounders, we prove to them how to be effective leaders in the sense of surviving, and diplomacy. They percieve right and wrongs from us, one missed step and we have a war, one right step and we are at peace. They see things like that and they look to us for that kind of leadership. We owe it to them to let them in on our lives, even if it is just our business, they are the closest thing we have to family on this Earth and they deserve to be aware of our lives."

He grunts ruefully in agreement, squirming slightly as he realizes I am right and has to do this. I kiss him on the cheek and stand to my feet. He follows me and leads us both out of the tent. Squaring his shoulders, I watch him take a deep breath and walk quickly to the center of camp. Two steps behind, I reach him just as he bellows "Ok everybody gather up, we have an announcement."

He surveys the group and asks, "Alright, Is anybody out? Or is this all of us?"

No one replies as heads crane to both the left and right, scanning for familiar faces. I count quickly with my eyes, astonished, I only found sixty-eight in all, including me and Bellamy. Have we really lost thirty-two people? Thirty-two. Thirty-two families on the ark who have no idea that their children are gone. Thirty-two haphazard graves at the side of camp. Thirty-two futures, gone. I shiver as I think about how easily lives are lost, people, with feelings and people who care about them and love, joy, hate, and despair woven into the fabric of their existence; simply gone. I shiver and think about what is to come for my child. My tiny baby, who has not yet seen the sun or the stars, or breathed real air, does that child have a future? Is it long or is it short? Will it live to know how much love I have for it? Or how wonderful this world we live in is? I subconsciously lay my fingers on my abdomen, feeling for the thrum of the life I know is there beneath the surface. No matter what this world brings, I will fight to make sure that my baby lives to know how fiercely I love it and what I will do to protect it.

Bellamy shoots me a glance that affirms what I feared, this small gathering of sixty-eight is it. This is all we have left. I shoot my arm out, and string my fingers through his, clutching his hand tightly in my own.

He clears his throat to quiet the murmur that is spreading through the crowd and they fall into a gruff silence. "Thank you" Bellamy echoes, "Ok so here it is you all know that Clarke and I are together, well we would like to announce that we are having a baby."

Chatter resonates through the crowd as intermingling voices clamor over one another to discuss that, "Oh I knew that" and "I did not see this coming" to "How is this going to affect us?"

I step forward, my hand breaking from Bellamy's and immediately a dead silence fills the air as they quiet, listening for what I have to say, "Yes I'm pregnant, but this does not mean I am not your leader anymore, I will still do whatever needs to be done to assure that we, as a community, are safe. This Earth is ours now, we are claiming our birthright, and the grounders cannot drive us away from our home. Mine and Bellamy's baby solidifies that. The first of the 100 to be born on the ground. This is our home, and I will do everything I have to to fight for it for us and my baby. So we can have a place of our own, a home that we will thrive in for many generations. We are the 100, not the people of the ark, or invaders of the ground, we are the 100 and we belong here."

A cheer is heard echoing against the trees, I heavily suspect coming from Octavia, and suddenly they are all clapping and cheering.

I smile at Bellamy and he regards me with a look of such love and admiration as he twines his fingers back through mine as he says, "I couldn't have said it better myself Princess, they are so lucky to have you."

I squeeze his fingers lightly and reply, "Not just me us, we built this society Bel."

He smiles widely and picks me up, swinging me around as I laugh, my hair flying behind me like a curtain, catching the sunlight and shimmering with a golden hope. This is where we belong.


	6. Chapter 6

Bellamy

I wake to the sound of panic. I spring to my feet and am alert from a dizzy haze almost immediately, my mind buzzing as adreneline shoots through my system. Clarke stirs and rises beside me, her eyes flicking to the left as outside we hear a blood curtling scream as the commotion behind the thin gauze of the tent shakes the very ground. My heart skips a beat as I think of Octavia, bloodied and kicked to the ground, and heavy dread drips like sludge through my veins. I am quick to reach for my gun but out of the corner of my eye I see Clarke reaching for the same weapon. I turn quickly to her and rumble darkly, "You have to stay here this time, ok? Whatever's going on outside, whatever you hear happen, promise me you will stay here. Run if you have to, but keep our baby safe." I stare forcefully into her eyes without blinking, my grimace telling her that whatever happens to anyone here, even me, she must stay away for the sake of our baby. I see in her steady, determined gaze that she understands, she nods curtly giving my arm a tight squeeze that speaks to me as clearly as if she had screamed it, "I love you."

I whisper back steadily, "you too." I press my lips against hers, squeezing my eyes shut, drinking im this fleeting moment of restitution. I pull away and turn to the curtain, before I can will myself to pull it open, revealing whatever carnage may lie behind its thin veil, I give her one last, longing, parting glance. Her eyes glinting with determination, she nods bravely back at me, a rifle held tightly in her palm.

I turn away and pull open the curtain, revealing a dazzling sunlight, and within it, raw and unincumbered chaos.

I rush into the action, grounders seem to be filtering in from all angles although with my adrenaline rush clouding my focus the attack could be anywhere from five to fifty grounder warriors closing in around us. I gun down a warrior barraling towards me, the spear clutched in his palms catching the early sunlight; shimmering with venom. I reload my handgun but find grounder after grounder running towards me, soon I will run out of ammo. I duck behind a storage shelter and find Finn already pressed against the wall. His face is streaked with dirt and blood and he is panting heavily, he is weaponless, a broken chunk of firewood clutched in his hand as a last ditch effort at self-defense. He is not fighting off an attack anymore, he is fighting to survive.

With a sinking heart I realize so is everyone else here. We have been subjected to an attack we where completely unprepared for, if this had occured three months ago, we would have been ready. Well fed, well armed, and well defended. But with winter has come a lack of resources, we stopped preparing for an attack and began stockpiling for riding out a desolate winter. Our numbers have dropped with the temperature, the elements picking us off from illness, cold, and malnutritian. It has always been a war of survival, but with this very present, grounder attack we may be finally at our wits end.

In the wake of despair, I find a steely, resiliant determination buried in myself. The raw, powerful force that is human nature awakens, forcing me to fight to my last breath, for survival, for Clarke, for Octavia, for my baby, for my people and for myself. If this is a game of survival, then I'm gonna blaze out every last force knocking me down, incinerating everything that threatens me like a roaring flame, desimating everything in my wake.

I turn to Finn, and with a nod of his head I see the same fire blazing through my chest reflected in his eyes. Wordlessly, I pass him a knife and beckon for him to cover me. We creep out slowly from behind the shelter, and suddenly spring into action. Relentlessly pushing forward, swatting our attackers down like flies.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Octavia, her eyes narrowed in anger as she viciously holds off three warriors with a single knife. She is backed into a corner and in her fiery gaze I catch a flicker of fear as her attackers square in on her. Finn nods for me to go, turning back to an oncoming spearman. I sprint towards my baby sister, slashing down anyone wishing her harm without a second thought. When the threat is gone, I pull her into my arms briefly, as my eyes search for any oncoming attackers.

In a single moment, the world stops. From a blind spot, I feel someone approaching me at the speed of a bullet, I turn but it is too late, I shove Octavia with all of my strength to the ground. In that second when the knife penetrates under my ribcage, the world becomes crystal clear. I see the light filtering through the lush green of the leaves overhead, kissing my cheeks. In the back of my quickly fading vision I see Clarke rushing at me, her face cloaked in tears as she bends over me, her face inches from mine. Her voice reaches me as if she is speaking underwater; distorted and far away. "No Bel' no, keep your eyes open!" She sobs, her warm tears dripping onto my cheeks. She fades in and out of my increasingly blurred vision and I gasp; fighting to hang on, the pain in my side radiating so strongly through my body that i can physically feel it tearing through my conciousness.

In a raspy, guttural voice I splutter, "Is Octavia? you? baby?"

She replies gently through her tears, "Everyone's ok. You kept us safe."

I sigh and I feel my body relaxing for the first time in what seems like my entire life and I whisper, my teeth chattering as an intense cold washes over me, "Mom I did it. I saved her. I'm sorry I couldn't save you but I did it. She's ok, I took care of her."

The pain is gone, leaving a euphoric calm in its wake. I know in retrospect this is bad, yet I am hauntingly calm, as if I am standing on the sidelines watching a beautiful chaos unfold around me. Octavia has crawled over my arm sobbing into my shirt, Clarke is shaking my ashen face desperately, pleading with me to stay. Blood gushes from my side, leaving Clarke an island in a crimsom red lake. She is moving over me like a hummingbird, she pumps my chest rapidly and skillfully with her palms, while at the same time she is shouting at Octavia, willing her to get up and move me. Clarke's words make her move like a rag doll, blindly following orders as she mutely drags me to a covered area. Clarke rallies once more, pulling Monty from the battle and with a quick command has him beating my chest rythmically as she had been.

She does not skip a beat, wiping the tears and blood from her hands she produces a knife from her boot, unflinchingly cutting around the jagged edge of the knife sticking out from my side. No one can touch her, she is ablaze with determination, the fighting begins to taper off around us yet it seems Clarke has willed an unpenetrable bubble around herself using her sheer will of determination.

It is this unwavering spirit that pulls me back, kickstarting the intensity of my will to live. I feed off her strength, allowing for it to flow through me, empowering me. I sink back, willing myself to awaken, and suddenly I feel everything. Earth shattering pain explodes through my side, my head is pounding and bright lights seem to swallow me whole. I scream in agony, writhing as the pain seizes my body. I want nothing more than to get out, shut out the pain, escape from the torment of life. But something holds me back, I look up through the pain and see Clarke her eyes shining, holding me down. She can barely contain her relief, fresh tears spring to her eyes, washing out her grieve and replacing it with sheer joy. She bends down, and gently kisses my face whispering authoritatively, "Bellamy, everything is going to be alright, stay down, you can't move. I removed the knife but you still have severe internal damage and I will have to operate again when you're strong enough but for now I think you're out of the woods."

I nod weakly, my whole body feels weak and defeated and I am unsure if I will be able to form coherent words, yet I lightly clutch her fingers, affirming that I trust in her. I feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness, but I think it is alright to rest for now. I feel my whole body shudder as I fall into an uneasy sleep, each time I open my eyes when the pain becomes to strong, I find Clarke's gentle gaze hovering over me, and I am able to take control again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi! So here's chapter 7, I know last one was a little dark but heads up Bellamy's not out of the woods yet. This is all from Clarke's perspective and I really tried to get a good angle on her here and I hope you can see this in how she decides to act and make decisions. As always I could really use some reviews/feedback so I know what you guys think idea-wise. Thanks so much again for all your support! Side note: How did you like Wednesday's episode? All of Bellamy's scenes where gut-wrenching for me I was so scared for him! Here's to praying for Bellarke in the second half of the finale! (But they might just hold off on that until next season or later but I would be so sad if they didn't do it now honestly, I really can't wait that long)**

Clarke

I watch him with a hawk like fervor, my eyebrows knit together permanently and my lips glued in a thin line of worry. His sleeping face is ash grey, sweat gathers at his brows. I have been waiting for his fever to break for the past two days. In the short moments that he has woken up his words have been distorted and uncomprehendable, his eyes glazed over and unfocused. His insiscion site looks clean but each day I can see his strength draining as his condition continues to plummet.

I am startled out of my vigil by a tap on the shoulder. I jump from the mat I have been kneeling on for the last several hours. Octavia stands over me her face gaunt and exhausted. She bends to wordlessly wipe the sweat from her brothers forehead with a wet cloth and to ease him into a more comfortable position, alll the while her face is grave and emotionless.

I keep my eyes carefully trained on Bellamy, searching for signs of what I fear the most. His incision site, freshly bandaged is beginning to pool with blood once again, his infection has worsened in the last few hours. I have been feverishly applying clean doses of pure alcohol to the wound, constantly replacing blood soaked bandages, keeping him well hydrated, and regulating his temperature. Yet painful worry hangs over my head constantly, weighing down more and more on my shoulders as horrifying questions begin to cloud my mind, infiltrating into my subconscious like a disease. What if Bellamy keeps getting worse? What if I can't save him? What would I do if I loose him? I have retreated into myself several times, pushing myself through increasingly unbearable situations in my head, usually ending with heavy tears streaming down my cheeks, onto Bellamy's gaunt face as I plead desperately with his motionless form to hang on for me. Whispering, please please please, over and over again like a chant, knowing full well he can't hear me.'

Octavia has startled me from one of these excruciating cycles of worry, after making Bellamy as comfortable as she can she puts both her hands on my shoulders and looks me squarely in the eyes, her once bright and energetic blue eyes, dulled by the pain and agony of watching her brother suffer. I will never understand their bond; siblings have not existed in generations and their dynamic is largely unknown to me, their love is unlike a friend, or a parent, or a lover; it is a mutual protectiveness, they rely on each other, challenge each other, both simultaneously hating and loving one another in a way I will never comprehend. They can push the other to the brink and yet pull them to safety at the same time, risk everything to keep each other safe and push the other away like a stranger the next second. I have realized that they totally rely on each other, for both emotional strength and almost a physical support. Their mother is dead, they are the only family for each other. I can see that what Bellamy is going through on a physical level, Octavia is experiencing the same heart-wrenching pain on an emotional plane. Seeing her big brother, her protector, friend, and provider, lost to her is crushing her so much I can almost see her fading away.

"Clarke," She chokes out weakly. I bite my lip strongly, anticipating a heart-breaking plead for me to save her brother, however the reality is so much harder to take, "Go, I can watch him for a little while, you need to rest, to eat. You can't just pour yourself out onto Bellamy, that doesn't help him, or your baby. You have to stay strong for him, and if not just for that for his baby." She takes a painful breath of air, "That baby is a part of him, and so are you Clarke. You are family. You have to protect my brother's baby."

The desperation I hear in her voice, her arms clinging to me for support, I feel her losing control, reaching for support in me that I cannot quite identify, yet recognize as family. We are family. We must be strong for Bellamy. I rise and pull her into a tight embrace and whisper," I promise to do that Octavia, but I know that I can save him."

She pulls away, her eyes streaming with doubtful, yet longingly hopeful tears. I hand her the wet cloth I have been clutching tightly in my hands for the last several hours and allow her to wipe away her tears and I re affirm myself, "Trust me, I can save Bellamy."

Clarke

I leave Octavia alone with her brother, seeking a moment of respite as I collect my thoughts and mentally prepare for what I am planning to do. Octavia's faith in me, her seeking of comfort has filled me with a new found confidence and I am spinning with the almost gleeful hope sprung from this idea that may just be crazy enough to work. I let the sun dazzle me, warming my cheeks and soaking into my system.

A mixture of Mud and blood and tears cake my face, I have not slept for three days, my every moment dominated by Bellamy, keeping him breathing. The attack was actually much smaller scale than it seemed, it was a raid. We lost supplies and we where shaken up but in all it had only been a small party of grounders. A warning. We are not welcome. We are not safe. To them, we are the invaders; a menacing threat. What they do not understand is that this is our home too, we fought for it and now we are claiming it, not for just us but for the survival of our legacy. I place my hands gently over my shirt, feeling the curve, evident through the thin fabric of my baby. I look around, straggling people wordlessly scavenge through the meager supplies we have left that the grounders did not destroy, their faces tight with defeat and fear. Bellamy is their leader, they have put their ultimate trust in him and in myself. They are willing to fight and die for him, because they have the upmost respect in him as a leader. With him on the verge of death, they are lost. I am lost. I see them looking to me as Octavia had, desperation shining in their eyes, willing for me to lead them on my own. But I can't do this by myself, this society only functions with both me and Bellamy in command. I can find reason and strength in him just as he brings out leadership in me. We will not survive without him.

Just as the weight of this immense responsibility settles on my shoulders, my heart fluttering with the inkling of panic, I feel it. Under the palm of my hand, a slight nudge, a small thump, a tiny tap that fills me with both surprise and joy. The feeling of my baby kick for the first time fills me with renewed strength and purpose. For my baby, for Bellamy's baby, I can do this. I will save him. I am capable and I know for certain that I have the strength to push forward. I cradle my arms around where I felt the kick, new tears springing to my eyes, washing away the grit of my suffering, and I croon softly, "I promise I am going to save your dad, don't worry."

I charge back into the tent, kneeling next to Bellamy's motionless form, and peel the fresh bandages from his side, already turned crimson with his blood. The skin around his wound is sallow and pale, the wound itself is a dangerous color, resembling nothing of the healthy healing expected of it. I ask Octavia to pass me the knife that had been embedded in his side. Dumbfounded she silently passes it to me, gingerly holding two fingers around the hilt of the menacing weapon that had threatened to take her brother. I careful examine the jagged edges of the blade, my eyes searching for any trace of what could be causing this deadly reaction, anything to disprove an infection I know I cannot cure. With a gasp, I find the culprit.

Glittering nonchalantly at the tip of the blade is a speck of golden dust, catching the drifting rays of late afternoon sunlight filtering through the patchwork tent. "Get Raven in here." I demand, my lips pulled tightly together.

In a flash Octavia has disappeared, returning in a heartbeat with Raven close at her heels.

Wordlessly I hold the knife up at her eye level, my face grim as I wait for her verdict.

She nods back at me, her eyes flickering to Bellamy, lying on the ground.

With her confirmation, I do not hesitate to get to action, in a second, a scalpel is clenched in my right fist, running it along the original incision site, unhealthy blood spilling out like a waterfall. I hear Octavia scream as she lunges forward, I do not look up from my work as Raven holds her back carefully explaining my motivation for this to her. When I hear her breathing normalize I know we are all on the same face. Without having to look up, I know that in her eyes, is reflected the same grim hope that is currently written on my face.

On the knife I found traces of a copper isotope, and with a heavy heart I realized almost immediately that Bellamy was suffering from the effects of blood poisoning. He will need a blood transfusion and being a half of the only pair of siblings in the world may have saved him from sure death at the hands of either blood loss or heavy metal poisoning. By replacing his contaminated blood with Octavia's there is a strong chance he will recover, and we will not loose him. Octavia, now armed with this information, clenches her teeth and I can hear her gasp as the knife she slashes through her forearm breaks her skin. Raven collects about three pints in our sole IV bag, complete with a lifesaving needle drip. Once his wound has been drained I carefully stitch him up, resealing his gauze wrap and feeding the IV tube through his arm.

We wait. In silence, we stand around him, our eyes trained carefully on his slack features. Searching for any, tiny signs of recovery, that our rash actions somehow manifested itself in a positive change. An affirmation that we have saved him, not caused his final undoing. I brush my fingers lightly through his hair, pleading over and over in my mind that he will stir; show some sign of awakening, of coming back to me. In my head I scream, "Bel' come back, I need you so badly. I am fighting for you. For our baby. We need you. The baby kicked. I can't experience this alone, I need you here by my side. Please stay."

Octavia clasps her hands tightly around his left hand, her knuckles whitening where the strength of her clasped hands is tightest. Her jaw is clenched tightly and I have to check to make sure she is breathing as her eyes focus unwaveringly on Bellamy's face. Raven is stationed at the door, her shoulders tense and expectant, her eyes flickering from Bellamy to the door. After almost four hours of almost no movement, fear creeps into my heart as I allow a singular salty tear to roll down my face, landing with a small plip on Bellamy's face. With that small ripple, there is a slow thaw. I see his eye twitch as he struggles to force his eyes open. A feeling of the most spectacular joy crashes through my body as I cry, "Bellamy? Bellamy, wake up." I excitedly brush the hair from his face as his unfocused eyes find mine, and he tries for a smile.

"Hey Princess" He croaks. I am only able to stammer in joy, kissing his face, relieve washing through my veins, spreading euphoria like wildfire.


	8. Chapter 8

**So sorry it has been so long! I hope most of you are still interested I was just caught between finals and major writers block. So this chapter is a little short so sorry but I will try to update more quickly in the future :) As always enjoy and please please please review I need some new ideas.**

Bellamy

My recovery process is long and dull, stretching well over two months. By the time I could sit up without a sharp searing pain in my side, I have cradled Clarke in my arms, breathing in her wonderful scent. I wrap my arms around her waist, feeling my heart beat more quickly everytime I feel the sharp tap of the baby's kick against my hand. Clarke claims the baby kicks the most when she is with me. In retrospect, my life is at an all time high, there is a lightness in my chest that I have never felt. Despite the arduous pain, constantly shooting through my body, I am almost relieved. we survived a grounder attack. We have fought for our right to claim our home. We have shown the grounders we are not afraid we are strong, and united. Nothing they can do will crush our spirit. We are the 100.

One day I am able to sneak past Clarke, who has given up her constant vigil over me for a moment to take a much deserved nap. On shaky legs I gradually increase my slow, unsure steps into wide confident bounds. Soon I am running through the forest breathing in the fresh morning air and feeling ablaze in the pure untamed joy of being alive. As a torrent of rain whips through my hair I scream, my feet hanging inches from a steep cliff overlooking stark, dramatic hills and canyons, brave and exciting new horizons glowing on the edge of the world. I fling a strand of wet hair from my forehead, my left foot sending a small pebble tumbling down the cliffside. Silently I watch it tumble down the steep bridge, watching it dislodge larger rocks and sediments, bringing a torrent of once still life down with it. I begin to laugh, loudly and freely. What a world this is, new and exciting. Passionate and massive. Fantastically brave and incomprehensively free. This is the world I live in, the one we where born to be a part of. I inhale a long clear breathe of fresh morning air, throwing my fists in the air, screaming with all of my energy, the sound of my voice resonating through the steep canyon walls, sending birds careening from the pine trees into the wide open sky. This is what it feels like to be truly living, not simply surviving, hanging on to life by a thread, waiting for the next brush with death. I am on the edge of the world, the question of survival seemingly secured underfoot as I look to the horizon, able to appreciate true untouched beauty and not only admire it but allow it to flow into myself.

As this thought resonates within me, I see a flutter of blonde hair out of the corner of my eye, the gentle wave of rain blowing it in a streak from her face. I smile, steering my gaze from the overpowering beauty of nature to the gentle beauty of Clarke's serene face. Neither one of us says a word, the calm around us creating a peacefully silent universe in which there is only us and the private serenity before us.

Instead I silently take her hand in mine, drawing our intertwined fingers up to her face as I cup her cheek in our hands. I drink in her features as if I will never see such beauty again in my life, almost allowing the dull throb in my side to remind me that that almost happened. Wordlessly she tips her chin up until our noses are touching and slowly draws the smile from my lips, kissing me with a deep passion, as if my fears of losing this moment are mirrored in her lips as we attempt to capture it in a fleeting display of exhuberant emotion. When our moment passes Clarke pulls away slowly, her lower lip trembling as she looks up into my eyes, "Don't you ever try to leave me behind again. I don't know what I would do without you."

I brush my fingers through her soft hair as I murmur, "If anyone or anything tries to take me away for even a second, I promise I will fight with everything I have and more to never leave your side again." I pull her closer, "I would be equally lost without you by my side as I yours. I need you and I love you."

She smiles bravely, echoing, "I need you and I love you, Bellamy." Her voice carried by the gently breeze as the clouds part, the sun filtering through the persistent rain shower as we are bathed in iridescent drops of pure light, falling from the sky.\

I pull away gently, excitedly whispering, "Try this, watch." I firmly plant my feet on the edge of the cliffside, as if allowing myself to stand in the middle ground between us and the vast expanse that is the rest of the world. I throw my arms out to my sides and as the warm rain brushes my cheeks I scream with joy, love, fear, anger, hate, power, and every emotion that has ever been contained within me allowing it to explode in a burst of freedom, ringing in the tree tops.

Clarke looks incredulously at me, her mouth agape as she contemplates a possible bleed in my temporal lobe. I press forward, beckoning her to my side as I whisper, "trust me Princess." I move behind her pulling her arms to her side as I feel her shoulder relax at my touch. In a heartbeat I yell, "Now!" and without hesitation she releases a joyous scream as she throws her head back, and laughs openly with a liberating joy I have always hoped she would find in herself.

She cranes her neck back to look at me, her face filled with pure wonder as she kisses me in a spontaneous burst of passion and I kiss back with an equal fervor as we both relish in the wonder we have found in living.


	9. Chapter 9

Clarke

Afterwards we simply lie on the soft, mossy earth in gentle silence. How could we be found, in this secret, private escape we have made? I allow my eyes to flutter shut against Bellamy's chest as I allow myself a quite, temporary restitution. As Bellamy wraps his arm around me I succumb to my exhaustion, my body screaming for physical and mental rest. Lately it has been so hard to sum up the energy I need to continue forward, with Bellamy's near death, my impending motherhood, and the constant question of how to keep everyone alive, I feel as though chunks of my very will to fight have been ripped from me. I am drained, each breath I take like another in a never ending battle to live. I just need a moment, one second of peace, peace I find in myself, peace I find in Bellamy, peace I find in my baby.

My baby, for now an abstract concept, My baby who does not know of the dangers that lie in this world, or the beauty of it. My baby whom I have never seen yet I would recognize as clearly as seeing my own reflection. My baby who I will meet in less than a month. How could I ever prepare for this? The most important and daunting thing it feels I will ever do is just past the horizon. Yet I see no way to get there, my path is obscured by everything we must do simply to survive.

It is now that in the moment I shut my eyes to rest, ready to let go of all of the stress of the last few months for a single moment that it happens. It is as if everything happens in unnaturally slow motion, as if gliding through water. One moment I am lying on Bellamy's chest, lulled by the rhythmic, steady beating of his heart through his thin, battered tee-shirt; and in an instant, time stops. Bellamy's arms tighten as he lunges forward, I shakily rise to my feet only to watch him be knocked down by a huge grounder, one, who with alarm I recognize from the hunting patrol from months ago. Hastily the grounder wraps a heavy cloth around his face, muffling his angry screams. I yell and try to get to Bellamy only to be held back by another immense grounder. I kick and scream but to no avail as I am forced to the ground and my hands are tied uselessly behind my back. As my face is forced to the now gritty, unwelcoming ground. I struggle to peer upwards at my captors. Just as the blinds are drawn over my face I see her, leering down at me, her expression venomous. Tall and powerful, Anya, glares at me. Her leadership and authority evident even in the way she stands. I would respect her, under different circumstances but I have nothing but hate left to show her after her constant torment of my people.

As my vision is taken from me, she is the last thing I see, and in my heart I fear it is the last thing I will ever see, after the dramatic beauty of the world I might be taken from, to the fear of my enemies standing over me, to choking overwhelming darkness.

Clarke

When the sack is ruthfully ripped from my face, I almost think I have gone blind, as more darkness greets me instead of the gentle, warmth of sunshine I am accustomed to. Yet slowly as my eyes adjust I am even more terrified, locked to a jagged stone wall, in a hideously tiny cave, water dripping from the sharp ceiling. I flashback to my holding cell on the ark, uncomfortable memories flood my mind. I am interrupted from my painful reminiscing when Anya's face appears before me, her intelligent eyes sweeping me, observing me, as if she is looking into my soul and absorbing everything there is to know about me. I clench my jaw and in the strongest voice I can I demand, "Where's Bellamy?" flinching inwardly as some fear creeps into my words. I must appear strong, they cannot break my will. I have to find courage and strength somewhere deep inside me.

She does not answer me immediately, instead taking a moment to narrow her eyes and allow me a moment to be overtaken by the hideous ideas of his fate plaguing my mind. Anya does not aid me in my fears instead she justifies them, "You don't have to worry about that now, Clarke."

I hide my surprise at the mention of my name. It almost gives her words a personal edge, a very real, almost-threat in her calm voice.

I gulp and with a very real fear now unmasked in my voice I half-whisper, "What are you going to do to me?"

She grins, once again, increasing my fear, "First thing you are going to do is drink this." She commands, producing a small vial with a clear liquid glittering in the dim light.

I try to pull away wondering without really wanting to know the answer, "What will it do to me?"

She does not smile, whispering, "It is an extract from a root, among its many uses it's used to break fevers, stimulate bone growth, and induce labor."

My heart stops. "No no no no no no" I whimper, "I'm not ready, I can't, no no, I need Bellamy, no I can't please don't no."

She grits her teeth almost impatiently, "You will do it, you won't be seeing Bellamy anymore."

For the second time in my life on Earth I begin to cry. This is too much for me to handle, I don't know where Bellamy is and I am definitely not ready to be a mother. My baby cannot be born into this world, with the grounders standing above me ready to dictate the direction of my life and of my baby's.

Anya slashes a knife across my face, hot blood welling at the scorching pain of the scratch. I stop crying and direct a deep anger towards her as she whispers, "You will take the extract or I kill you right here, just say anything and this knife is at your throat instead of your cheek."

I reluctantly take the vial and drain it, heart stopping fear clenching my chest, as fresh tears obscure my vision. Apparently finished with what she came to do Anya leaves and shuts a heavy metal door in her wake, as if I could leave, I'm chained to a wet sharp wall, left alone in small desolate prison. In what seems like forever, a slender red-haired young woman, enters, shutting the door carefully behind her as Anya had and is suddenly instructing me to lay down. In shock I comply and allow her to get herself seated beside me. She kindly strokes my hair and I pull away, whispering, "What is going to happen to my baby after it's born?"

She half shrugs, "I'm not sure but I believe it will go to stay with one of the mother's here"

I weep silently, "But I'm it's mother."

She dries the mix of dry blood and tears from my face with a damp cloth without saying anything, only making me cry more. The utter hopelessness that has seized my body is the worst pain I have ever experienced. I cannot cope with the idea of my baby being ripped from my arms, inwardly I swear to fight to my last breath for this baby. As a searing, burning shooting pain paralyses me, I scream out, this time without the joyous liberating yell from hours ago, but instead with almost audible bone crushing pain and loss.


	10. Chapter 10

Bellamy

I force my eyes open, only to find darkness at the other side of my swollen lids. I gingerly bring my hand up to my face feeling rough throbbing gashes decorating my face still wet with my blood. I carefully rotate my aching jaw in my palm trying to piece together where I am and how I got here. Thankfully my jaw doesn't feel broken, but I can't say for sure the same about my ribs as a slow burning ache spreads from my side. As my eyes begin to focus I see that I am in a cramped dark cave with no visible opening or light source. My heart beats faster as the walls seem to shrink, seemingly moving closer together with me sandwiched in between. I can hear my short, raspy, panicky breathe echoing off the walls and spontaneously think that this is how Octavia must have felt all through her childhood, trapped under the floorboards in a shoebox sized space not meant for an eight year old much less a teenager. I suddenly have much more empathy for her desperate desire to be free, like me, she would say, why can't I be like you Bel'?

I close my eyes trying to block out the rocky prison I am in, silently reminding her that she is so lucky not to be me, the literal bloodstains on my fingertips a reminder for all the bloodshed at my feet. I think back to me and Clarke sitting under the tree, leaning against each other as a desperate plead for support. I was as beaten and bloodied then as I am now, thrust into a similar, trapped situation, only instead of solid rock now, it had been my own doing. "I'm a monster" I remember choking out as I tried to stop the cascade of tears threatening to run down my cheeks. I was a shadow of a man I didn't deserve tears, I didn't deserve to live, beaten by my own hallucinations, my inner demons taking solid form as I became at war with myself. Yet what brought me back, who was my anchor to life willing me to survive, reminding me that i had a purpose, and I deserved forgiveness? Clarke. Clarke reminding me that she needed me, that everyone needed me.

Then it rushes back, the horrible painful memory returns. One moment we where lying together under the beautiful evening sky. Next thing I know I'm on the ground, blindfolded, and I hear her scream. This brings me back to the present I carefully rise to a crouching position, my knees kill and the lack of space makes me want to pass out, or throw up or both, yet I start to loudly bang on the ceiling with a rock, yelling as loudly as I possibly can, my fingers searching for some kind of door or window in the darkness. With an angry, frustrated cry I kick the side of the floor, my efforts seemingly wasted. I try to accept that I might die here, enclosed in this manhole, unable to breath, trying painfully to accept that I may never see Clarke again.

But with that one kick, something clatters out of my sock and hits something wooden, not metal or rock, wood. I scramble to reach it and with a whoop I find the small handgun I forgot was stuffed inconspicuously in my sock. I feel my way around the wooden door and find that it is a cleverly concealed trap door. I dig my fingers through the soft water damaged door and I am finally able to push my whole hand through the door and miraculously I find the handle. I clench my teeth and I wriggle the door open, and with a final clang I hear it hit the floor below. I carefully lower myself to the ground, there is still no light and I have only found myself in a bigger cave. I squint in the darkness searching for any evidence of a passage way, my gun cocked expectantly in my right hand. What happens next almost makes me shoot the loaded gun at the floor.I hear the most strangled, pained, terrified scream I have ever heard. With a sickening jolt I think of Clarke, tied down, beaten, bloodied. I am no longer blinded by darkness instead all I see is red. Without hesitation I run blindly down the hallway, listening desperately for Clarke's anguished cries. When I am spotted by grounders I do not hesitate to shoot them in the temple. Another choking cry leads me to an iron gate I shoot the guard down before he can even react to my arrival. I wrap my fists around the cold metal as I desperately scream in, "Clarke!"

In the darkness I see Anya's tall wiry form, and beside her a smaller leaner shadow and curled up in the corner I catch a glimpse of blonde hair and I scream, "Clarke!" again.

I hear her whimper, "Bellamy?" as she tries to crane her neck towards me, but Anya kicks her and she crumples back. I catch the other smaller woman flinch at Anya, two small objects held gently in her arms. I angrily kick the bars trying desperately to force my way in. I roar, "Anya I swear if you don't open this door I will shoot you down without a second thought."

She directs her attention towards me and I can see the glint of venom in her eyes, she grabs one of the small lumpy things from the other grounder who protests slightly but holds herself back. Anya holds it gently to her face and says, almost desperately, "If you shoot me then your daughter dies."

This sends shock waves down my arm as the gun falls limply to my side, my daughter?

Clarke tries to lunge at Anya, but the other woman holds her back, keeping the other object away from her as Clarke attempts to reach around her back. My eyes wander to the second grounders arms, and with a gasp I see a tiny, arm reach out from her grasp. "They're twins?" I choke silently.

I direct my attention back at Anya, my other baby still held as almost a shield to her face, I growl, "Anya, give me the baby and no one has to die here."

I catch the flicker of desperation in her eyes as she spastically shakes her head. It suddenly dawns on me, she has no idea what she's doing.

"Anya, who is making this happen?"

She falls back, clearly panicked, everything I saw in her as the strong, controlled grounder leader, ruthless in every move she makes at us, is crumbling before me.

"I can't tell you." she pleads, haphazardly swinging closer to the bars.

I catch on to her weakness and stare at her wavering face, and in a low calming tone, masking all of my desperation, I levelly ask, "Anya pass me the baby and this all goes away."

"I can't I can't" She mumbles incoherently, stumbling even closer to me.

"Anya, please, you are better than this you are not a monster, make the better choice and pass me the baby. We all have choices and you know this is the right one to make."

She half nods while whispering," no I can't, he'll come for me." Yet she passes me the baby in defeat.

From her outstretched arms I see my daughter for the first time, her tiny sleeping features are a picture of innocence I have never seen in my life before, her tiny little hand pressed against her cheek as if she doesn't even know why its there. I am breathless as I hold her for the first time through the bars of the cage, my nose pressed against the bars.

This moment that seems to last several decades, is slashed in a moment, as Anya lunges forward, rips the gun from my fingers, and in two swift movements, is crumpled on the ground, a streak of blood coming from her temple.

The second woman screams and runs to her side, shoving my son at Clarke, who cradles the baby as if it is the most precious thing on this Earth, kissing his tiny forehead with tender minute kisses, as a singular tear falls on his tiny shoulder. She looks at me smiling a golden smile, seemingly washing away all of her earthly troubles with just one glimpse of his small fragile features. I smile back at her with equal joy, wordlessly bending myself down so that I am able to gently kiss my daughters head.

Surprisingly the second grounder clears her throat and rises from Anya's side, I try to pull the baby closer to me as she approaches, her face blank and emotionless. But she simply unlocks the door for me and whispers, "I am so sorry" as she steps to the side.

I rush to Clarkes side, pulling her gently into my lap and passing her our daughter. She trembles in my arms. I kiss the top of her head and whisper, "Are you ok?"

She sniffs as she leans down to snuggle both her babies whispering back, "I am now."


	11. Chapter 11

Clarke

I gasp slightly as my daughter opens her eyes at me, even in the dim light I can see she has my light blue eyes, rimmed with a stormy gray, focusing in and out as she attempts to make sense of this new world. I smile whispering, "Hi baby girl!"

In response she yawns widely, her whole face scrunching up with the force of that gigantic little breath of air.

I excitedly nudge Bellamy slighty, who in turn hastily wakes up from a light sleep. He looks ashen, immensely exhausted yet at the same time excitedly ecstatic. I feel him crane his neck over my shoulder and hear him sharply draw in breath. I glance over at him secretly and catch him with his mouth agape in awe, his eyes full of wonder. I smile and kiss him lightly on the cheek as I murmur in his ear, "What do we call them?"

He pauses and tentatively asks "can we name the girl Julia Aurora? After my mother."

I hear the twinge of pain in his voice at the sound of Aurora's name, he needs a way to honor her after feeling that he has let her down so much. I bite my lip and whisper, "That's beautiful."

I continue, looking down at my sleeping baby boy, "I want to name the boy after my dad then, Jake Griffin. How does that sound with Griffin as the middle name?"

He chuckes, and he replies, "Of course, thats the perfect way to honor him, and still keep your name."

His eyes twinkle in the darkness as we kiss, our children snuggled safely in my arms. I sigh and fall back on his chest, hoping that the pain and exhaustion of this day will fade with rest and my new twins. I hear Bellamy gasp as I put pressure on his side and I immediately sit up. gingerly he shifts to his side as I slowly climb off him and give him a long concerned look. I pass him Jake and examine his ribs. I gasp, "Bellamy your rib is broken."

He grimaces, "Ya and you just had two babies, how are we gonna get out of here?"

I tense up, fear suddenly washes over me as I cradle my helpless baby closer to my body. I am completely stripped of my energy, unable to walk three steps much less attempt to escape a heavily grounder infested prison. As Bellamy draws in short pained shallow breathes, I can feel our options dwindling and begin to worry about the prospects of living the rest of our lives as prisoners. The thought of my children growing up in the same confined life that I endured being a prisoner on the ark is unimaginable. How could I put them through that? After doing everything we had to ensure our survival and hoping for a new beginning from the world they would be brought into, all I can give them is darkness. It kills me, stabbing into every fiber of my being that this is on me. I did this to them. I took all of the hope we had for them, for the future and wasted it. I wanted to give them the world, but I can't do that, I can't show them what a beautiful life this world could give them.

I look down at Julia, marveling at how tiny and delicate she is. Her docile face, free of pain and suffering, twitches slightly as a drop of blood from my cheek hits her on the forehead. I gently rub it away, her soft baby skin unbroken and new beneath my finger. How could I have put so much on her fragile little shoulders, We expected the world from these babies, pinning the future of our society and the fulfillment of our hopes on them before they have even felt the Sun on their faces. I give Bellamy a stricken look, "I just want to keep them safe." I whisper, my voice breaking as I contemplate how difficult a task that will prove to be in this world full of dangers we are not prepared to face.

Bellamy secures Jake in his arms, struggling to his feet as he stands before me and says in a strong voice, "This is not the end Clarke, this is the beginning. I don't know whats ahead or even how we'll get out of here but I do know that these babies they are lucky to be born into this world, because they have what we never had before coming here; the ability to make something great from all of this chaos. They can erase the damage laid before them and create a new world. And now, we have that same choice, we can choose to act and find a way out of this hellhole and make a future for our children. You and I, we can't quit, we have to be strong now."

I square my shoulders, bringing Julia close to my heart and I nod silently. For the first time, I survey my surroundings with a tactful eye, taking in every detail in the dim light. I glance to the exit and see a long narrow passageway. I attempt to take a step but I stumble, weakness overtaking my body and making it hard to breathe. The ordeal of this day has taken its tole on my body, ravaging my resources and depleting my strength. With a sinking heart I know that I will not have the strength to make it through that tunnel, much less navigate my way out. Bellamy comes up behind me, his face tense with pain as he catches me, carefully lowering me to the ground as he passes me Jake. "Sit tight for a minute Princess, I'm gonna try and take a look outside."

I nod biting my lip to stop from crying out in pain. I take a deep breath, trying to keep from passing out from exhaustion as Bellamy disappears around the corner. As Jake opens his eyes, revealing sparkling hazel eyes with flecks of gold in the iris' I murmur gently to keep him from crying. His face scrunches up as his lip trembles, a tiny whimper escaping his mouth. I rock slightly whispering, "It's ok honey, it's ok, your dad will get us out of here and everything will be alright, shhh, but you can't cry. I don't want anyone to come looking for us, ok buddy? Just hang in there for a little bit."

Surprisingly he calms down, he stares at me with wide eyes, his little arm reaching out to pull at my hair. I laugh quietly, "Yes sweetheart, mommy is going to keep you and your sister safe."

Bellamy

I struggle along the winding halls, my breath coming in loud gasps as I grasp the wall for support, struggling to put each foot before the other, searching in the darkness for any hint of light. I took the gun with me and for a while I had it out and pointed at the darkness ahead of me but soon I needed both my hands just to keep myself standing, basically holding myself upright with the jagged handholds along the wall. I put the gun away and I am aware of it in my pocket like it's a hot iron. In three seconds I could have it out, I just hope that I can get three seconds if I need it. As my vision becomes foggy I grunt, hyperaware of the pressure on my shoulders to get Clarke and my kids out of here. The combined effect of sheer joy and terror I felt when I saw the twins is still weighing on my mind. How can I keep them safe? How can I protect them from this world. I flinch, thinking of every one of my failed efforts to keep Octavia safe. All I can do is create collateral damage. I shot the chancellor so I could keep her safe. Yet here I am, alone in a dark winding cave, gut wrenching pain shooting from my side and the lives of three other people depending on my ability to find my way out.

I am suddenly frozen from my slow procession by an intense coughing fit that sends me to my knees. I cover my mouth with my sleeve and to my horror, I begin coughing up blood. I scramble to examine my wounds and find my stomach is covered in purple-red gashes from where the grounders kicked me. With a sinking heart I realize my old wounds have probably re-opened. I gingerly pull the bandages off my left side, and gasp. The once clean wrapping is now covered in fresh blood and I am still actively bleeding from the open scar. I desperately try to re-apply the bandage and crawl forward as my vision becomes obstructed by massive black dots.

I fall to the ground, shivering as I am crushed by the massive weight of my failure. I can't save them, whatever I do, however much I fight for it, I will never be the hero. I will always be damaged goods. I can't rise above my demons, I will always be overcome by them; that is my downfall, and it will drag everyone I care about down with me. From the corner of my eye I see shadowy figures moving towards me. I don't have the energy to feel fear, I can't feel anything. Suddenly Octavia is shaking me, yelling almost angrily at me to open my eyes. Surprised I strain to find her in the overcoming darkness and with what little energy I have left I rasp, "Go. Find. Clarke. Down the hall. I'll be fine."

"No, you're not fine." She insists, pulling my shirt up to reveal my ghastly wounds, she cringes, "Jesus Bel', what happened to you?"

I force myself into a sitting position, propping myself against the wall as Octavia shifts in and out of my focus, "Grounders, captured us but we have to get back to Clarke now-"

She interrupts me, "Bellamy, we're not in a grounder cave, Lincoln took us here to find you but it's just an old bunker, one of the abandoned tunnels."

This alerts me, "Then who made Anya take us here? We where definitely captured by grounders and there where a couple here."

Octavia looks to Lincoln and asks, "What is he talking about?"

Lincoln comes over, surveying me with cold eyes. We both recall the tortures I put him through and I find no sympathy in his gaze.

"I'm not sure," He replies gruffly, "There are some very powerful exiled people, who have been known to seize and take over tribes but they haven't caused any problems for a while."

I cough heavily which prompts Octavia to persist, "Bellamy where's Clarke?"

I struggle to reply, " Down the tunnel to the left in a prison cell. It's open"

She leaps to her feet and bolts down the dark hall without another word. I shut my eyes willing the pain away. I look up through squinted eyes to find Lincoln shoving a water pouch in my direction, warily I take it and grunt, "Thanks."

He doesn't say anything but instead leans against the opposite wall and doesn't look at me. I drink the water in one big gulp. A moment passes in silence I don't look at Lincoln and he doesn't look back at me, after a long pause I whisper, "I'm sorry, about what I did to get information out of you, it was wrong."

He lets another moment pass and replies, "I forgive you. You did what you had to do for your people. You're a good leader."

For the first time I look at him, "Thank you." Is all I can say, up until now I had been doing everything I could to keep myself and the people around me going but this confirmation, from one of my enemies gives me courage to fight further for the survival of the 100. To make myself the hero even if I was not born to be one.

All I can say to this realization within myself to fight for my people, to fight for myself, and to fight for my children's future is, "Thank you." to a person who does not know me or like me but has somehow made me find my drive to reimagine myself with a simple forgiveness, an act that has been nearly absent in my life. I realize that really, I have forgiven myself, I am ready to move past my actions and make myself a better person for Clarke, and for myself, and for the future of our children and of our society. Despite what I tried to encourage in Clarke, to make her believe in fighting for the future, I didn't have faith in my own words until now.

After this self-realization, from the floor of this desolate cave, all I can do is pass Lincoln his water back and close my eyes again. Finally allowing myself to let go of the past and look to the future.


	12. Chapter 12

Clarke

I force my eyes open seconds after they drop, adjusting the babies weight in my arms to keep me awake. They are both asleep and I long for nothing more than to follow suit. My eyes have been open for what I suspect to be two days, maybe longer and I am fighting simply to keep my heavy lids from drooping over my bloodshot eyes. I know that if I drift off for even a second, I will be out cold, vulnerable to anything that might come into this cell. I struggle to stay conscious by imagining what would happen if someone did come in here, all they would find would be me. My arms occupied by two helpess babies, completely drained and utterly defenseless. I shudder to think of any situation of me standing any chance against anyone who could come in here, my heart sinking when i realize my options are fairly limited.

I will myself not to panic, there is nothing I can do now but wait and hope, but for what? For Bellamy to somehow find his way out, even if he is not found, as injured and beaten down as he is there is no way he will be able to make it through the woods, through grounder territory and back to camp without collapsing. I shiver as a cold wind blows through my body my hope dwindling as I whimper. It is only me. Alone in this desolate prison, defenseless. cold. exhausted. Responsible for two babies. My only company are infants and Anya's body still crumpled where she fell. I do not know if Bellamy will be able to make it back to me. What if that was the last time I saw him, kissed him, felt his warm hands in mine, breathed in his oaky pine scent. What if I never make it out, never get to see my camp again, my people, to show my children the world they are missing. What if this is it; what if this is the end?

I close my eyes, allowing the cold around me to shut out the pain, bringing the babies closer to my body as they squirm and begin to whimper. As I begin to loose the battle with sleep and with chance I hear soft footsteps. My eyes flash open as somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder if it is Bellamy, but that thought is drowned out by paralyzing fear as I try to accept that I cannot do a thing about who is coming or what they might do. All I can do is fight to my very last breath to keep my children safe, even if it means I never make it out of here. I press my body up against the wall as the footsteps grow louder, and somehow feel more menacing. I brace for what is to come wrapping my body around Julia and Jake as a streak of a tall, slight person enters the room.

"Clarke?" With unimaginable relief I look up and find Octavia rushing towards me a relieved smile glowing on her face as she kneels beside me.

"I'm gonna kill my brother." She whispers, her voice catching as she looks at the babies in my arms, her eyes filled with awe, "He didn't tell me you had the babies, and oh my god twins? Clarke they're beautiful!" She wraps her arms around me, she cannot tear her eyes from the small, now awake babies in my arms, she sniffs, "The boy has my mother's eyes" she almost cries.

I tentatively reply, "do you want to hold them?"

She nods and I gently pass her her nephew, "The girl is named Julia Aurora and the boy is Jake Griffin." She gasps upon hearing her mother's name and it dawns on me how difficult it must have been for her to loose her mother so young, and for dying at her own expense, and I think I wonder if this is how my own mother felt, having my father die because of her and then having me hate her for it. A single tear rolls down my cheek as I realize I never got to apologize, and now my mother is gone, feeling like no one in the world loved her. I never got to make things right.

I sniff and Octavia passes Julia back to me and I cradle both babies close to me as their tiny eyes close and they fall back asleep. My mother is gone but I can try to make things up to her by being as much a mother to my children as she was to me. I look to Octavia, a new determination glinting in my eyes as I say strongly, "Where's Bellamy did you find him?"

She nods, "Yes he was in one of the tunnels, Lincoln Finn and I came looking for you too after we noticed you where missing, it took a while but after a few days Lincoln found this network of tunnels and we found him on the floor near the entrance, we can get you out safely now, there are no grounders here. We can go home."

My heart fills with joy as a new hope fills my spirit. Bellamy is ok. We are safe. The danger is gone. We can go home.

I lean heavily on Octavia as she leads, and half drags me down the long winding halls. We have barely moved yet my breathe comes in gasps as the tiny baby in my arm feels like an anchor. Octavia holds my son gently in her free arm as she half-carries me with her other. I force myself to shuffle forward as huge black spots begin to obscure my vision. In the dimly lit passage I see Bellamy's sprawling form ahead, he is sitting on the floor, his back against the wall as Lincoln stands over him. I feel like sprinting to him, falling in his lap as I kiss him and rejoice in the fact that we don't have to be afraid anymore, we can go home to our people, and give our children the life we envisioned for the future of the 100. But it takes all of my strength just to stay conscious so I am patient and I focus on simply making it to the place where he is.

Of course he meets me half way, despite the fact that he is just as physically drained as me, never mind the fact that he is sporting a pretty large bloodstain on his side, he struggles to his feet and almost falls on top of his sister trying to drag himself over to me. I try to laugh at his nearly comical efforts but it comes out as a weak cough as we both fall to the ground, our hands lightly touching. Octavia smiles down at us as she silently passes her nephew to Bellamy who wraps the infant in his jacket gently rubbing his fingers through the baby's soft blonde locks. Just then Finn rounds the corner, yelling "Ok Octavia, we're all clear to go, did you find Clarke-" He stops mid sentence as he lays eyes on me sleepily pressed to Bellamy's side two small babies in our arms. "Wow Clarke, Bellamy they're beautiful."

I look up and see his peaceful expression and I realize he is at peace. All of his hurt and anger are gone. This makes me happy as Octavia helps me to my feet. "Thank you Finn." I whisper, my words very gently thanking him for his forgiveness.

Bellamy

Our journey home is painfully slow, I want nothing more than to sweep Clarke in my arms and carry her home as quickly as I can. But I struggle to catch my breathe painfully placing one foot in front of the other as Octavia serves as my crutch, When I try to thank her and convince her to let me walk on my own, she simply puts her arm around my shoulders and props me up and says, "I'll always take care of you big brother" I smirk back upon hearing the same words that I whispered to her the day she was born and allow her to support me. I glance back at Finn, responsible for carrying both my babies as Clarke is carried in by Lincoln. I watch him as he carefully avoids rocks and tree roots and moves slowly to ensure the babies safety. He has not said one word, but instead simply watches my sleeping children like he has never seen a baby before. Maybe he hasn't I don't know but I can almost trust him with them, maybe we can put everything between us aside and move forward.

When we reach the clearing in front of our camp, I pull away from Octavia determined to walk into the gates on my own two feet, Clarke appears behind me apparently having a similar idea in mind. I take her hand in mine, squeezing it lightly as we prepare to make our entrance, as leaders and as partners. When we make it inside it is almost just as we left it, people milling around, organizing weapons and rations, repairing tents and collecting wood. I drink in the buzz of life, our life and smirk, kissing Clarke lightly on the cheek. We are home.

Suddenly she gasps, I look up and to my utter amazement I see what she has seen. After a long moment Clarke cries, "Mom?" as Abby Griffin stands in the clearing in front of us.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you to everyone who has supported this story and thank you for all of your fantastic reviews! Honestly I could not have continued with the writing if it weren't for all of your continuous support. I am thinking one more chapter after this then an epilogue. The last chapter will be very action packed and a lot of questions will be answered about the grounders and the 100. As always your reviews and support are what keeps this story going so please please don't hesitate with the feedback! Again thanks for everything in advance. :)**

Clarke

I pull myself to my mother allowing her to cradle me in her arms as she used to when I was little, she lovingly tucks my hair behind my ear and I feel like I am three again, rushing into her arms in the middle of the night after having a nightmare as she gently crooned that everything was going to be alright. I sob into her shoulder, "I'm sorry Mom, I'm so so sorry. I love you."

I can barely hold myself up as She gently pulls me to the ground allowing me to rest in her arms. "I'm sorry too Clarke. I love you more than anything."

"How are you here?" I sniff only half believing that she is really here in front of me.

"We came down in pieces of the Ark and we tried to land as close to you as possible, we have a camp set up near a lake but I went out searching for you. I had to make things right."

I nod incredulously hearing her as if in a dream. Behind me Bellamy stumbles to the ground and right away I notice that he has been putting on a very strong facade because I hadn't seen that he was still bleeding from his original stab wound. I quickly scramble to his side and my mother follows.

"Is that Bellamy Blake?" She wonders aloud.

I cannot tear my eyes from his as he tries to respond but is quieted by a coughing fit.

"yes" I murmur my eyes still glued to Bellamy.

"The kid who shot the Chancellor?" My mother says quietly to herself, she shakes her head, "Clarke we need to get both of you some medical attention right now." She says taking charge as she always has in situations like this.

I can only nod wearily as the world spins around me. Lincoln carries me after my mom and she quicky and expertly tends to us and once again I am suddenly able to feel like she will make everything better.

Bellamy

The last thing I can remember is watching Clarke whisper "Mom?" as Abby appeared before us. If only that would happen with my mother. I feel like I have let her down in so many ways, she raised me to be a good person and that is something I struggle to be every day. I feel like if she ever saw me again she would be so disapointed in my actions, I have let so many bad things happen around me and I can never own up to it. At the same time I want nothing more than for her to run her fingers through my hair, smoothing it back as she tells me everything will turn out fine, a warm smile on her face that assures me that it will, even if it can't. I wake up in the med tent, my side freshly bandaged and the sharp ache in my ribs dulled. I sit up and find Clarke in the opposite cot, staring back at me with warm eyes. I stagger over to her bed and sit beside her taking putting my arm around her. "Feeling better?" I murmur.

She smiles wryly remembering the first time I said that to her, both our eyes bloodshot from the grounder's biological warfare, we had cautiously taken care of one another then, just as we do now but with more hesitance; less trust. Now she smiles back at me her eyes glittering as she nods brightly.

I grin, "that's good." I reply, carrying along the same reminiscent nostalgia in the conversation. She nudges me playfully as she leans against my shoulder, we have grown so much since then, we have found more strength in our electric bond that we could have never found in ourselves on our own. We have learned each others flaws and weaknesses and discovered ways to feed off each other as leaders.

I decide to add to the old conversation as I lean In close and whisper, "I love you Clarke Griffin, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to watch our children grow up in this brave new world we have made for ourselves, I want to watch our society develop into the potential it has, and mostly I want to be with you. You complete me, make me a better person and leader than I ever thought I could be. I love you and I need you, all I want is to be by your side forever. I used to say that we could live by 'whatever the hell we want' but I know I want more, and dammit to hell if what I want most is right here next to me, so Clarke, will you marry me?

She stares back at me her eyes shining and her lip quivering, after a long moment she whispers, "If we're still holding on to 'Whatever the hell we want' well in that case then yes, yes the hell I want is you. You and me."

We kiss for a long moment, drinking in the pure untapped joy in this moment but before long we are interrupted by a small, polite, hesitant cough, as Abby stands in the doorway, a confused but amused smile on her face. We awkwardly pull away as I fidget a little where I sit but Abby only laughs as she enters, chuckling, "You know it is customary for the mother of the bride to get to know the groom a little before he pops the question, usually over a slightly awkward dinner and then he may bring up a possible proposal nervously asking me for her hand but-"

She walks towards us a glowing smile, so much like Clarke's etched on her face as she continues, "But this seems anything but customary. Clarke, I never would have seen you and Bellamy Blake coming before I got here but the way you looked at him when he collapsed, your eyes never leaving his, reminds me of the way your father and I looked at each other" A slightly pained expression appears on her face, "We relied on each other, we where partners, we stood by each other, and I may have let him down in a way I can never forgive myself for but the way this boy speaks to you, and the way you two look at one another, you have a fire, a spark that you have always needed to find in another person. Someone to love and to trust, to lean on, to learn from, to grow with, and Clarke, what you two have shows me that you have found the strength you always needed in him." She looks at us with a warmth that makes my cheeks turn hot, I never deserved this admiration, such kind affection I have not found since I lost my mother, it makes me feel safe. Clarke gently hugs her mother whispering, barely audibly, "thank you, mom"

Suddenly Octavia appears in the doorway, almost stumbling over the moment Clarke and Abby are having at the threshold. Octavia bashfully apologizes but continues, "I'm so sorry guys but I think the babies are hungry they keep crying and they won't sleep and I know you're still recovering but I didn't know what else to do." I look around Clarke and see that she has both babies in her arms, clearly too much for her to handle, and I motion for her to hand me them as they squirm in her arms, I look cautiously up at Abby unsure if she had caught on to our tiny little almost secret. Clarke looks equally nervous flashing an unsure look at me as she takes Jake from me. We are all silent as Octavia silently edges out, murmuring about a border patrol as she ducks out.

A small glimmer of a smile appears on Abby's lips which almost scares me, should I be afraid of this reaction? Or ecstatic? I almost wish she looked pissed or angry something that I could at least go on.

Her smile widens and she laughs lightly only making more alarm bells go off in my head, she puts her hand on Clarke's shoulder eyeing her equally confused expression as she explains, "Oh honey, I suspected the minute Octavia walked in behind you, she was in a panic while the two of you where recovering so I offered to watch them and Clarke, your daughter has your father's face, even the way she yawns is like the way he did." She glances over at me, both of the babies wriggling in my strong arms, and whispers, "They are beautiful and wonderful, " she says looking at us both briefly before addressing Clarke, "Just like you, you will make an amazing mother, better than I have ever been."

Clarke wipes a tear from her eye and she laughs, "Of course not, mom you have been the most amazing mother I could have asked for, after everything I have done and seen and experienced I hope that I can be half the mother you have always been to me."

Abby hugs Clarke tightly and I rise to take the babies out and give them a moment but Abby motions for me to stay, pulling away from her daughter, "I should leave you two, you have a lot to learn with these babies." She laughs gently again and with one last sweeping glance disappears through the entrance.


	14. Chapter 14

**IMPORTANT: So I decided to do one more chapter after this because I really want to end it on a happy hopeful note and that means aaah Bellarke wedding! I really wanted to make the wedding its own chapter but I had to tie up the loose ends first with this chapter so look out for one more chapter and an epilogue (I'm not sure if they will be two separate "chapters" or just one long ending yet but all in all thank you for your support and reviews once again. As always this story feeds off reviews so any feedback you have I would be happy to get. Enjoy!**

Clarke

It has been three months since we where captured and things at camp have been changing, not negatively but in the way a society grows and develops around change, adapting to circumstance. The truth of the matter is we are not alone anymore, the adults who we left on the Ark are now on the ground, although their camp is far from here they have become trusted allies and a place to look for guidance. We are not alone, although we have not become a unit and even though that may never happen as our two camps have thrived differently and in their own ways, we are no longer defenseless against the grounders. We can now begin to look for answers, fight back, take back what belongs to us. Although reluctant to at first I convince Bellamy to take me on the raid with him, along with Lincoln, Octavia, Monty, Raven, Jasper, Finn and Miller and several of our gunmen.

This sweep leaves the camp marginally unprotected and with our three month old twins inside Bellamy has called for back-up from the Ark's camp, when they arrive, tensions are initially high in the camp with many of the remaining 100 sizzling with unspoken blame for the injustice they faced on the Ark, with many of them loosing parents and family members to petty crimes and subsequently being locked up at the hands of officers and councilmen, the arrival of the Ark's force has been difficult.

My mother has the twins with her and I glance back longingly at my tiny sleeping infants, this is the first time I am leaving them and with such a high risk raid, I don't know when and if I will come home. Bellamy appears behind me and lays a strong hand on my shoulder, his eyes are as fixated as mine on the sleeping twins as we stand in the doorway.

"You can still stay" He says gruffly, "They should at least have one parent with them."

I am silent for a moment, then I voice my concerns, "I have to go. You know that, we need to find that external grounder group that kidnapped us. We have to make this world safe for them and we both need justice."

I turn to face him and take his face in my hands, "I know you're scared of loosing me, trust me I'm terrified. Terrified of leaving the twins, terrified wondering if I'll ever see them again, terrified of loosing you. But Bel' we have to do this, both of us. Ok?"

He nods, turning his head back to the babies. We walk up to them, their tiny chests rising and falling rhythmically.

"He looks just like you." I whisper, rubbing my hand on Jake's stomach.

"What with curly blonde hair ? I think he's got more of you in him." He responds

"But his little face is your spitting image Bellamy, he makes that same angry little face you make when he's upset and he has all of your freckles." I look up at him, "Octavia says he has your mother's eyes."

Bellamy does not respond, his eyes locked on Jake as mouth tightens into a thin line, "Is it wrong that I'm afraid that he looks like me?"

I look incredulously at him as his eyes shift painfully to mine, "Bellamy, they are both so lucky to have you as a father, you are strong, brave, caring, and protective, you have saved all of us time and time again, you are important Bellamy."

He sighs, "I want to be everything for them." He admits

I take his face in my hands again, "And you are. Now we have to go and make sure they stay safe."

We exit the tent guns cocked lightly in both our hands as we lead the patrol out.

Bellamy

Lincoln leads us to the last location this band of ex-grounders was seen, we creep up on the campsite, it is bustling with activity. We listen intently from afar, checking our weapons and strategically planning the infiltration.

"Don't you undermine me, we know that your people are loosing land, if you agree to our terms, we can get you more territory, if you don't, you will all pay." We hear the low growl threaten. Lincoln peers over and lowers his head in shock.

"What?" I growl

"That is Christian another one of our main faction leaders." He grumbles back

"If your raiders do not accomplish what we discussed, you will find yourself in a similar position as Anya when she did not deliver those hostages."

Clarke gasps as I hear her gun click. I beckon for her to pull back, the pain and anger in my own eyes mirrored in hers.

"We could have taken the invader's camp with those infants. Their leaders would have been completely at our mercy. You had better not disappoint me as Anya had, or your people will find out very quickly what became of hers."

I am seeing red, now it is my hands shaking uncontrollably with anger. I look over and see Lincoln is similarly tense. I can't handle it anymore I give the order to move out.

We storm out, mercilessly gunning down the unprepared grounders, within minutes they are on the ground. I knock the owner of the voice I so venomously hate to the ground and press my gun forcefully to his neck. I feel the thrum of his pulse beating wildly below my weapon as I press him in an angry yell, "What were you going to do with my family."

His green eyes flash with amusement, "Answer me!" I growl.

"You should worry more about what we are about to do with them." He muses.

I feel my heart beat heavily against my chest, "What?" I whisper through gritted teeth.

"Go home and see for yourself." He murmurs giddily.

I slam my gun against his face and feel the bones crack underneath the metal barrel. I stand and turn away, I cannot bring myself to gun him down yet. I take a deep breathe and turn back prepared to fire. My eyes shut my finger on the trigger, my mother's calm voice in my head telling me I am a good person.

Bam!

I flinch, opening my eyes, my gun still at my side, I see Clarke, her gun pointed at the grounder's temple, an angry glint in her eyes.

She drops the weapon like it is poison, her eyes immediately flashing with surprise and horror. I take her in my arms and whisper, "It's ok, you had to do it."

She shakes her head, "Killing anyone is never something we have to do I made a choice, to protect my children's future, and that of my people."

I look deeply into her hurt gaze and whisper, "It's ok Clarke, choices are never easy and the one you made was right in the long run, even if you still feel guilty. I still do, it's what makes you human."

She nods and leans into my shoulder, "We have to get back to camp now." She whispers.

Suddenly I am filled with fear again and I nod, my eyes wide; we rush back as quickly as we can, Octavia and Raven trailing us as the others remain behind to deal with the seized camp.

When we arrive, we find the camp in a petrified state, silent, unnerving. I look steadily at Clarke as we prepare for whatever is there to greet us on the other side. She takes a shallow breath and rushes in with me on her heels.

I start to panic she is unarmed and the camp seems.. empty. I cautiously scan the tents as Clarke rushes into our shared tent, where we left Abby and the babies. Slowly people emerge from all sides, my people seem battered and uncoordinated as they stumble out. I grab Luke by his arm as he approaches me. The fourteen year old blinks like he is in a daze as I press him, "Luke what happened here?" An air of desperation in my voice. Clarke has not come back out yet.

"They came out of nowhere." He mumbles, in a state of shock,"There were so many, they overwhelmed us. We fought them off but it all happened so quickly."

I nod pushing him aside. I rush after Clarke. Once I reach the door I find her at the entrance unbroken tears in her eyes. My heart sinks. "What is it are they alright?" She tries to speak, her mouth opening then closing, unable to form the words I need for her to answer.

I can't take it anymore I rush in, terrified of what I might find.

To my relief the babies are as we left them, asleep in their little bed. I scramble over to them taking my daughter in my arms and hold her to my face as I rock her. "I was so afraid." I mumble in her ear, "I promise I won't let anything like this happen again baby girl. It's ok."

Clarke comes in behind me, her face ashen as she avoids looking at the ground. I turn slowly and a cold wind washes through me. At my feet is Abby.

In a hollow voice Clarke whispers, "She died saving them. They came for the babies and my mother died saving them."

I gently lay the baby back down next to her brother and I take Clarke in my arms, cradling her, putting my hand over her face so she does not have to stare back at her dead mother.

"It should be me. I should have been here. I should be the one dead. I should have died for my children, not her." She sobs.

"Listen to me Clarke, what your mother did was brave. And so was what you did. Everything that has happened will give our kids the life that they deserve. They will be loved and they will be happy. Your mother's sacrifice gave them that."

She just buries her head in my shoulder and whispers, "I need her to be here. I need her to be at our wedding."

I rub her head gently, smoothing her hair back in the way I remember my mother did. I can't take away her pain. I can't ease her guilt. I can't mend the hole in her heart that only her mother's presence can ease. All I can do is comfort her. The way I was never comforted when my mother died.

"We will honor her. I promise, our wedding will be a celebration of the life she gave us by giving up hers."

"Ok" she sobs her face still nuzzled in my shirt.

"Ok." I whisper, kissing the top of her head.

**Im very sad that Abby died, before anyone gets mad I just want to make clear that in terms of the storyline I have set up I think that Abby dying was the right way for her to get a chance to make up for Clarke's father's death, and even though Clarke forgave her, by sacrificing herself for Clarke's children she can find the peace that she could never find with the guilt that she had over her husband's death which is very similar to how Bellamy and Octavia feel about their mother's death. (Don't worry I would never ever kill either of them) I wanted to draw that parallel for Bellamy to reflect on and for Clarke to experience to help even out their character growth. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Ok last official chapter all that is left is the ****epilogue. I just want to thank you all one more time in advance, I could not have done it without all of your feedback and support, I know I have said this before but all of your reviews are the reason for this story, I have published it for your enjoyment and I really hope all of this effort has paid off. Please review, I would love to know what you think of the story and of the soon to come epilogue. Enjoy xoxoxo**

Clarke

Octavia giggles behind me as she enters the tent. I attempt to peek at the glittering fabric in her hands but she squeals at me to close my eyes. I sigh and firmly shut my eyes as she and Raven bustle in. They carefully pull the soft silky fabric over me and I immediately look down. It's not much, one might say, but its like a tall glass of water next to my worn, beaten down jeans and blue jacket. The gentle slope of the almost-white bodice makes me feel like the princess Bellamy is positive I am. The matching hemmed skirt of the dress extends gracefully from my waist. I look in the dingy mirror and gasp. I have never felt so luminous, so graceful. My hair is let loose, falling into soft golden curls. My face is freshly washed and my eyes are sparkling.

I feel warm tears beginning to build up behind my clear face. The love that surrounds me is what makes me feel special. It wouldn't matter to me if I was dressed in a sack with my hair drenched and my skin dirty. It doesn't matter that I have kids of my own now and am getting married, I still feel like an orphan. I wipe a tear from my cheek and croak, "Can I have a minute?" Faking a reassuring smile as Raven and Octavia gracefully duck out, leaving me alone in the place my mother died. Although Bellamy has been making an effort to build more permanent housing, with this past winter, the construction has been slow. We don't know how to build houses. For the time being I am stuck, lying awake at night in the place where I lost my mother, the person who was supposed to guide me, to be here beside me on this day, to kiss my cheek and tell me I look so grown up. I crumple to the ground, my dress fanning out around me like I am an island, alone in the center of a great lake. I look up, expecting to see Octavia coming in but instead Bellamy strides in, wordlessly sitting beside me. After a moment he whispers, "Sorry I'm sitting on your dress."

I sniff, shaking my head, "It's fine, it actually makes it feel more special to have you next to me." and less lonely, I add in my head.

He smiles at me, "Lean over." He commands.

I feel him slip something around my neck, looking down I gasp, fingering the glittering diamond in my hand like a lifeline. "My mother's necklace." I whisper, in awe. It has been sitting carefully on a pile of my clothes for three weeks, I couldn't bear to touch it, almost as if I were afraid it would burn me, the memories of it bouncing cheerfully around my mother's neck making it almost sacred.

Before I can say more Bellamy interjects, "You deserve to have something of hers with you, even if she can't be here, a little piece of her memory should be able to glide down the aisle with you."

I look into his eyes as he continues, "Even if you can't see or feel or hear her, she is here Clarke, a little bit of her will always be inside of you. The love she had for you was so strong, and you will always carry that love with you."

I feel a warm feeling spread from my heart and I wrap my arms around him, I stand, a new joy manifesting in me like a radiant ray of sunlight. "Bellamy, you give me the strength to go on, even when it feels like there is nothing left, you're always there, I love you and I need you."

"Princess you are my world, but let's save it for the vows" He smirks as I laugh

"you know it's not traditional for the groom to see the bride before the wedding" I chide him.

"Well Princess I don't think any of this is traditional." He laughs, kissing my head lightly before heading for the door, "See you out there." He smirks.

I take a deep breathe, collecting myself as I take one last glance at the mirror, the sparkling gem around my neck glittering like a guiding light. I smile, taking it I'm my fingers as Raven peeks through the door, "We're all set Clarke, you ready?"

I smile, "I always have been."

Bellamy

I stare in front of me, electricity blazing through me like fireworks, I shuffle in place nervously almost unable to contain myself. People mill around in front of me, technically they are supposed to be sitting down, but sitting still is something we're just not good at. I look to the audience searching for Miller who is reluctantly in charge of watching my kids. I spot him and he shoots me a venomous look as he tries to get the four-month olds to stop wriggling around. I just shoot him a look that he knows means that I owe him.

I'm pretty sure the babies spot me because they are fidgeting and their little hands are reaching out towards me. I make some weird faces at them which makes Jake giggle and wave his arm wildly. I wave back, smiling. How did I get so lucky, a year ago I was a wreck, I didn't know who I was or what I was fighting for. I have made bad choices, I have made mistakes but at this moment, I can feel like I have redeemed myself, like a phoenix from the ashes, I can make myself into a better person, for the most part, because of Clarke. She has given me a chance to make myself better, when I was alone, she stood by my side, both supporting and fighting my decisions as a leader and as a person. We have made a better world for ourselves. From a group of delinquent kids, me and Clarke have become leaders and fighters, we have risen to the occasion and made something great out of what we were given. I am confident that we will thrive and give ourselves a place in this world.

Suddenly, I have forgotten how to breathe. Silence falls over us, canceling out the excited murmurs as Clarke stands at the end of the aisle. Sunlight falls on her making her glow like a diamond, she smiles at me as she walks towards me, her eyes shining like stars.

When she reaches me I brush a lock of her hair from her face, even though we are surrounded by everyone we know, it is like we are back on the cliffside, the world at our fingertips.

She nods at me, I know that I am supposed to start but I am almost afraid I won't be able to, but with one look, I find the strength and speaking these words is the most natural thing I have ever been able to say, "Clarke, when I first laid eyes on you, I thought you where stubborn, uncooperative, and headstrong" everyone laughs briefly as Clarke hits me playfully on the arm, "However I came to respect those qualities in you because it brought out the best in me, as a leader and a person, you helped me become the person I have always needed to be. When I'm with you, you cancel out all the bad and I can find something in myself that makes me want to be the better person, to do the right thing. For that you are my Brave Princess, you are the strongest person I have ever met and I am so lucky to get to spend the rest of my life with you standing by my side." I take a moment, looking into her eyes and for her I whisper, "I love you and I need you."

She sniffs, her eyes glowing like sapphires and smiles radiantly, "Bellamy, " She begins, "You are like fire, you want to fight almost everything and everyone that stands in your way, and you rush into everything, questioning whatever little thing you can." I wink inconspicuously at her and she smiles, "But you have always done what you think is right, you can fight for what you believe in no matter what anyone else says. Well now I want to be the one to fight, I will fight for us because Bellamy you give me a reason to keep going, we support each other, lean on each other, when I fall I can count on you to catch me, you complete me. You somehow find a way to wash away all of my weaknesses and give me strength where I never thought I had any. When I feel like giving up, you are the reason I can keep going. You are the reason we are all still here, fighting to keep going. Sometimes a little fight is good because where I have reason you have guts, and somehow that works, we make each other strong, and for that I love you and I need you, and I always will."

I sweep her up in my arms, her dress flying out like a curtain as I swing her, kissing her deeply. The crowd whoops as I dip her head down and we both laugh ecstatically.

"How was that?" She whispers her forehead pressed against mine and her hands wrapped around my neck.

I grin widely kissing her lightly, 'It was perfect, the first time I have ever heard the word 'guts' used in someones wedding vows and I would not have changed one word."

She laughs as I spin her around again. The world spread out in front of us like a euphoric dream. I have never felt so alive as when she is in my arms, happiness and love radiating off of us like a fever. A brave new world glistening in our futures.


	16. Epilogue

**Here is the final installment to A Brave ****New World, for one last time I would like to thank all of you for your reviews and support. Above all this story was written for your enjoyment so please let me know what you think I would love to hear from you. Again, I sincerely hope you have enjoyed my writing and I look forward to writing for you again sometime. Enjoy! xoxoxo**

Sunlight filters in through the camp, bouncing off the stiff roofs of cabins as rainwater filters down clunky gutters from the rooftops into buckets. A frazzled looking girl with dark hair and bright, tired eyes struggles to chase after two small children who chase each other on their tiny but sturdy legs as they laugh joyfully, as if they have never known anything but happiness in their short lives. The little girl with soft dark curls tumbles to the ground, her lower lip stuck out as tears gather in her baby blue eyes. The young woman rushes to her soothingly kissing her freckled face as she cries, "I want Daddy."

The girl seems at a loss, "it's ok sweetheart, you're fine, Auntie O is taking care of you isn't that fun?"

The toddler pouts, "Where's mommy?"

"You're ok sweetie your mommy is right over there, see wave to mommy, baby!" She encourages and an angel smile glows on the child's face as she giggles and waves to a blonde woman who pauses from instructing two young boys on how to treat snakebites to wave ecstatically at her daughter.

The little boy comes up behind his aunt and lovingly kisses her on the cheek, on his tiptoes so his little face can reach hers.

The woman smiles rubbing his blonde curls as the boy laughs.

"I want kiss!" The little girl shrieks delightedly as she scrambles up from her aunts lap to smother her brother with tiny kisses, who promptly shoves her, only making her run after him, both children shrieking in the soft spring air once more.

The blonde appears behind the brunette helping her up from the ground as they stand side by side, "They're getting so big Clarke!" The brunette squeals.

Clarke sighs lovingly watching her children chase after each other in the bustling camp. "Their birthday is in two days!" She exclaims "I can't believe they're almost three."

"Wow three years, look at what's happened in three years" Octavia murmurs pensively

"We have actual houses now, and solid trade relations with the grounders, we finally have enough food and resources to move forward. For once our numbers are growing instead of shrinking. We aren't just surviving anymore, this is living." Clarke replies, almost in awe of her own words, "How did we become so permanent? So sustainable?"

"Bellamy." They both respond.

As the two stand together the little girl stops in her tracks, "Daddy!" She screams with all of the power in her tiny lungs, sprinting to the gate where a young man kneels to the ground, his strong arms outstretched as his daughter lunges into his waiting arms. "hi Nightingale, how is my little princess?" The man chuckles picking her up and swinging her around.

Not long after their wedding, Bellamy and Clarke started calling their little girl Abigail Aurora Blake, her resilient little spirit embodying the sacrifice Abby made so that her and her brother could live.

The little boy comes running after his sister, wrapping his arms around his father's leg, smiling up at him. "Hey little man," Bellamy chuckles swinging his daughter to the ground to pick up his son. "Uppy!" The little boy shrieks.

"Whoo look at you fly Jake, you're a space ship, buddy!" Clarke laughs, coming up to the gate to meet her husband and children. She scoops up Gail from the ground leaning in to kiss Bellamy.

"You bring us presents Daddy?"Jake asks as Gail has thumb in her mouth her face pressed against her mother's neck.

"Of course, Jake look what your daddy found at the old bunker" Bellamy exclaims revealing a small, dusty, battered looking teddy bear. As ugly as it was both children fall silent their mouths agape as they reached for the scruffy little bear. Gail grabs it first hugging it close to her as she kisses its small nose, "Baby!" She smiled, holding it up for her mother to see. "Yes sweetheart, now give your brother a turn with the toy." She murmured passing it to Jakes insistent arms. The little boy squeals, gently patting the bears matted head.

Bellamy and Clarke release the two jittery children to the ground where they resume chasing each other, the bear becoming a reluctant new playmate. Bellamy laughs, his eyes trained on his children as he pulls Clarke closer to him, kissing the top of her head, "How's my princess?"

Clarke laughs, "I'm not your only princess now." She chuckles, shrieking with joy as Bellamy lifts her from the ground spinning her around, "You'll always be my princess, princess." He smirks kissing her nose.

Still giggling Clarke exclaims, "Aren't we getting a little too grown up for that?" Still slightly dizzy from all the spinning

Bellamy scoffs, "What is the cutoff for spinning twenty? Come on princess even though you're a senile old twenty-one I can assure you you could start lying about your age, I bet you could easily pull off nineteen."

He only laughs as she playfully elbows his ribs, drawing her in close as she whispers, "Well what am I doing married to an old man then Bel'? Twenty-four is really pushing it." She laughs leaning into his chest murmuring, "If it's any consolation, you can keep spinning me even when I'm seventy and have bad hips."

"I will spin you until you're a hundred and seventy, Clarke, as long as you are here in my arms, you are agreeing to a lifetime of spinning." Bellamy murmurs.

Clarke runs her fingers through her hair, biting her lip playfully, "Hmm I don't remember that being a part of our wedding vows."

"Don't worry spinning wasn't the only implied agreement you signed up for when you married me." Bellamy chuckles suggestively

"Oh ya, you'll have to enlighten me on those other contractual agreements later tonight." Clarke whispers.

"Clarke your children are right over there!" Bellamy says with an air of mock surprise, "I was obviously talking about always loving each other in sickness and in health, whatever you had in mind is obviously not child appropriate." He winks.

"Daddy?" A small voice tearfully interrupts, Bellamy releases Clarke bending down to lift Gail into his arms, wiping the tears from her pink cheeks with his thumb, "What happened sweetheart?"

She sniffs, mumbling, "Jake took bear!" She points her finger accusingly at her brother who has placed the bear on a rock and is carefully petting its face.

"Tell Jake mommy said he has to share." Bellamy answers patting the top of her head as Gail thunders away nearly colliding with her brother as she throws herself between him and the bear, determination flashing in her sapphire eyes.

Clarke rolls her eyes murmuring, "Mommy said that?"

"Eh, I was spitballing, but they're more scared of you than me." He laughs as Clarke elbows him again, "I bet you're more scared of me." She growls.

"What? The Brave Princess?" He draws her in again, "I'd be an idiot not to be."

Clarke smiles allowing him to gently draw her lips closer to his murmuring, "How did we get so lucky?"

Two days later the twins tumble into their parents bed giddy with excitement.

"Happy birthday!" Clarke exclaims hugging them. Bellamy's face still plastered to his pillow as Jake climbs on his back. Gail lays her face next to her father's pushing the bear into his face screaming, "Say happy birfday to bear!"

Bellamy groggily pulls himself up, "I want to say happy birthday to my princess first." He mumbles hugging her gently.

Jake crawls over his sister yelling, "Happy birday Daddy!"

"It's not my birthday bud, who's turning three today?"

After a second of thought he squeals, "Me me me me!" Gail joining in on the chorus.

"Yes my babies are three!" Clarke exclaims pulling them into her lap and kissing their heads.

Later at the twins birthday dinner, surrounded by every member of their extended family, Jake carefully feeds his sister a piece of his sticky grounder cake. She accidentally bites his finger but adorably kisses it exclaiming, "All bever Jake!"

Octavia leans in to her brother's shoulder whispering, "They're so precious! They remind me of us when I was little."

Bellamy laughs, "They're lucky they have each other." He admits

Raven sits down next to Octavia, rocking her daughter on her lap as she feeds the five month old a piece of the soft cake.

"Raven she is getting so big!" Octavia coos allowing the baby to wrap her small fist around her finger.

"Aren't you so excited Octavia!" Raven giggles

"Excited for what?" Bellamy jumps in.

Raven's eyes widen mischievously, "You haven't told him yet?" She exclaims

Bellamy's eyes widen at his sister's smile, "You and grounder boy!" He exclaims, dumbfounded. "I'm gonna be an uncle?"

Octavia smiles at her brother, "No you're going to be a godfather!" She squeals wrapping her arms around him.

Bellamy laughs, "Oh my god O I'm honored, congratulations, you will be the best mom."

Octavia laughs looking past him and whispering, "Well I don't know about the best mom, I am learning from the best though."

Bellamy looks behind him and sees Clarke approaching she laughs, "Look who came to say happy birthday!"

"Hey Charlotte!" Bellamy coos, taking the three month old in his lap bouncing his leg as the baby laughs, her little honey colored curls bouncing on her head.

Gail scampers around the table running up to her father to give the baby a loud sloppy kiss. "Hi bee bee!" She coos her little hands on the babies cheeks. Bellamy smiles up at Clarke who now has a sleeping Jake in her arms and he whispers in response to her earlier question, "I don't know how we got so lucky but I think we finally found our home after 100 years in space."

She smiles back, the sun falling on her back making her long hair glow golden in the falling light. Clarke takes in a deep breath of fresh air and kisses the top of her son's head, fingering the gem around her neck like she always does when she is happy, "Thank you mom." She whispers so only Jake can here in his sleep.


End file.
